Tag Archives: Motivational

New Strategies for Every Excuse

I’m constantly reflecting on ways to make the most out of my day, my life, my company and I think the biggest thing I run into when I discuss #MakingMoves with others is that they don’t know how to start or where to start. I’ve written a few blogs about that, but that doesn’t cover all of the other excuses. I say excuse, not to be harsh, but because that’s all it is and I think that can be more motivating for people. No one wants to be accused of making excuses!

So, today, let’s talk about strategies for every excuse; non-specific excuses, specific excuses including a few I hear most often.

What’s a non-specific excuse? I can’t, why should I, I don’t really need a change, I don’t even know what I want, why does it matter, it’s just how it is, I’m happy outside of work, so what does it matter if work is good? I’m happy at work, so what does it matter outside of that?

Well I’m here to tell you that you can, to be happier/make a difference to yourself or others/fulfillment/success, if you’re reading this, you probably do, you can still start somewhere, it matters because what you put out is received by others – negativity breeds negativity, happiness breeds happiness, it doesn’t have to be, you’re crazy.

The first strategy is just adopting a different general way of thinking; believing you can and wanting to. From there you can work into more specific strategies for more specific excuses 😉 Start by making a list of 5 positive things that will come from whatever change you’re looking for, then 5 things you could do to work towards that (ex: make this list, update your resume, get 30 minutes of extra sleep, drink more water, schedule one hour a week of you time to do something nice for yourself.)

Let that list create new habits and new things to look forward to and turn into 10 things, etc.

Specific excuses! We all know what these can be: I don’t have enough money, Its too late, people will be mad at me, people will think I’m crazy, what if I get rejected.

Rewind to previous paragraph: The first strategy is just adopting a different general way of thinking; believing you can and wanting to. This is the toughest thing to do with specific excuses, so if you can make it over that hump. Just trust that somehow you can do it and WANT to do it – you really can start seeing changes.

Another difficult strategy you NEED here is to……. Just start! It sounds so easy so it can’t be, right?! WRONG! Just start. Just show up at that fitness class, just step outside in your sneakers and you’re bound to start running. Maybe you aren’t the best, maybe you don’t run a mile, but you’ve started. Everything else will just come with time.

You want to go back to school? Just make an appointment with an advisor, chances are they’ll do the rest of the strategizing for you. You want to switch jobs? Just start looking at job postings. It’ll start being motivation enough to take the next step.

In this space it’s helpful to write down or think about or talk about some questions. What do I need to get the job I really want? (degree in something specific, a good reference, to finish my short story, etc) How do I increase my salary? (request a performance eval, submit for a promotion, think about a new job/career path) Be healthier! (Do I want to start with my diet or with exercise? What are some things about my grocery list I could start changing? How could I drink more water throughout the day? What types of exercise would I enjoy?)

From there you should have a pretty good list of starting points and how- tos!

Some takeaways from this post:

  • Believe/trust that you can make changes/achieve goals
  • Make a conscious decision to WANT to make      changes/achieve goals
  • Make a list!
  • Just START/Just SHOW UP
  • Flesh it out with questions

The best way of getting through that first one is to soul search and be honest with yourself. If you can’t be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with? Think about what excuses you’re telling yourself. Put them on paper or in the Notes app on your phone and look at them. Are they so big? Don’t you want to start erasing them? As scary or just lazy as you feel when looking at them.. think about how great it would feel if you could look back and say you got past them and started being happier.

Parents Just Don’t Understand

This week is for Young Adults (kids) and my Big Kids (Adults) so share with anyone whom fits into either of these two categories. Still with me? Good.

Parents and their children are notoriously getting into arguments which, at the end of each encounter, leave both parties feeling a little defeated. I have had my fair share of ups and downs with my own parents (mother) and even if I feel right in my argument, I still feel like a sack of potatoes shortly thereafter. There’s just something about the connection with parents that does that to you.

Per usual I was talking to one of my closest friends about parents and parenting and, while I don’t have any children of my own, please allow me to shed light on what I think happens between Adults and their respective Youths.

As a youth we are taught to mind adults simply because they are adults; no questions asked. We are taught to be honest, share, pay attention, be polite, wear our seat belts, obey rules and laws, believe in the Easter Bunny, leave fallen teeth out for an imaginary woman with wings who will somehow get into my locked fortress of slumber only to sneak into the space between my drooling face, pillow and mattress to take out the fallen tooth and replace it with a dollar bill of which is most likely bigger and heavier than she is which makes me wonder where she keeps all of these $1 bills in the first place? Sighhhhhhhh.

My point is that we look up to our parents while we are young and I think there may be some gaps in between. Now we’re left with how to bridge this transition from childhood to adulthood and what happens when children are no longer children.

I want to note that I still look up to my mother and lots of parents for the sacrifices and commitments they have made to their children. But, parents no longer are in a position to hold you accountable for table etiquette and convince you of imaginary characters. So because the teaching (for the most part) is done parents can feel left in the dust by their children.

Youth will be always be ahead of Adults in regards to technology, language, slang, fashion and modern day trends because that’s new and evolving daily and the youth, who have NO responsibilities can keep up with the changes daily unlike the adults who are still sitting in traffic trying to reach DD or Starbucks before the morning meeting at 9am sharp.

Conversations now sound like this “(Insert your name here) you have all the time in the world for your friends but never anytime for you family”, “You should be careful with the guy/girl because I heard a story in Texas of a guy who did blah or a girl who tried to blahhhhhh” Or my personal favorite “Kupah you should slow down, you try to do too much and maybe if you showed some patience….Blahhhhh” catch my drift?

What I think parents need to understand is that while the child should never take the role of parent, parenting needs to evolve even if nothing else around them doesn’t. Parents need to trust the investment of time they put into their children to make good, smart decisions, and hang with the right crowd and get enough sleep.

I am 30 years old graduated top of my undergraduate class with two bachelors degrees, worked for the state for 7yrs, created and operate a 6 figure company, teach fitness, I’ve been in magazines and billboards and my mother will still say to me “watch out” and “be careful” or “I do too much” Did I miss something?

I understand that parents never stop feeling like parents and from the bottom of my heart I hope mine never stops. But I am suggesting that all parents evolve in their relationship with their youth. Evolve into a role of counsel and support; children will reach out for advice and support when it’s wanted and really needed.

In a lighter sense, you can evolve with the times through your Youth and learn some things from them in turn. One suggestion: Youth get their information from smartphones, social media and conversations with friends. Adults get it from the tainted, spun, biased news…. Stop watching the news and get outside with your youth. Facebook and Twitter are not the enemy, Fox 25 news is! Lol. Learn to text and snap chat, tweet and email, Skype or FaceTime back and forth, use an app, you might learn something and have something new to relate to and discuss with your Youth!

There’s plenty of love out there and we all have it inside of each and everyone of us. We just need to open up and MakeMoves…. Until next time!

Top 10 Evaluations of Importance

Sup readers,

I realize that it’s an exciting time of the year again and there are tons of emotions, thoughts & feelings surrounding the holidays. I felt that rather than write my thoughts about the holidays or it’s season, I would write about something that relates.

There are so many things going on today that it is very easy to forget what is really important. I am not the one to tell you what is and what isn’t, however I am the guy that will proceed to share with you how I evaluate importance.

1) Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff.

2) Say what you mean and mean what you say because those that matter, won’t mind and those that mind, don’t matter.

3) Believe in your own ability to have an opinion but, be open to listening to others’ thoughts without jumping ship from your own beliefs. We are all different and have different experiences.

4) Ask for help; that’s why we have friends and contacts! Thinking you can do everything yourself is naive in this day and age so pull over and ask someone for directions, save time.

5) When upset know when to table things and know when to bring them up. There are plenty of people complaining every single day. Are you one of them or the other kind that just tables it for later, if necessary, and keeps on making moves?

6) Sleep it off, whatever it is… Sick, upset, tired, achy, depressed, irritated… Doesn’t matter! Sleep it off. Take a nap, wake up and if you’re not feeling better then address it.

7) Say “Hi!” There are 80 different ways to communicate yet we never seem to get it right. How’s this possible?

8. This is very important! If you have something nice to say to a person, SAY IT. Stop assuming they “already know.” The problem is that everyone may think the very same thing and guess what, no one says it. Take responsibility for your thoughts and speak! I promise you your kind words will not go unnoticed.

9) Gossip, Twitter Terrorists, Rumors, Hearsay, Facebook are the end of the world and its Privacy! Yes there are filters and safety features but here is an idea…. DON’T PUT IT UP. Seriously! And for those who live and swear by getting your facts from FaceBook and Twitter, get a life… #NuffSaid.

10) To me the most important thing to round out this list, and please keep in mind that these are just what popped in my head while blogging, it is YOU! All You. You You You. Never forget there is a You and You cannot take care of anyone or anything if You haven’t first taken care of You.

All in all enjoy the following photo. This guy is kind of a big deal and I read this once a day to remind myself of the things that matter and especially of the things that don’t.

Talk to you soon! Always #MakeMoves not noise…

 

How to start being Happy

I talk a lot about happiness and positivity in my life and on this blog; How to identify it, how to keep it, the importance in spreading it, etc. I talk about those things in generalities and sometimes through stories. People have said they agree, they believe that too, they want to strive for happiness and positivity but they don’t always know how or where to begin. It can be hard to start somewhere positive and avoid the patterns of negativity or unhappiness that have been created out of habits. Habits of indifference, dirty looks, judgment, insecurity, laziness; all of the common things people do everyday and aren’t always aware that they’re doing.

How crazy is it that it can be HARD to be HAPPY or to be POSITIVE?! I don’t believe it should be, or that it really is.. I think people need to change their mindset and be proactive. To help get as many people started that truly want to be, I think you can begin with the fundamentals. The fundamentals that we’ve all learned or heard since we were kids: Manners and politeness (which lead to greater kindness.)

Not too long ago simple manners and politeness were standard teachings in households. Of course, this wasn’t/isn’t always the case, but for most, or at the very least it was expected in school. Somewhere down the road between suing each other, racial and cultural differences, rumors, social media bullying we have become so afraid to say anything to anyone. Sometimes when I say, “thank you” people are astonished that the words still exist. Seriously?!

People never seem afraid to point out when someone fails or makes a mistake, but rarely make the effort to say something nice or supportive. I’m confused, and slighted, that while we can tear people down daily, not too many people have the courage to pick people up. Should you quit your job to rush to the aid of a loved one having a bad day? No! Should you try to be a superhero and put your realistic needs and priorities aside? No! But, looking someone in the eye and genuinely saying, “Hey, I like that outfit,” “Nice job today,” “Congratulations on that man, that’s awesome,” “I appreciate you always being such a good friend,” can’t be so difficult!

I spend most of my day smiling and constantly thinking about forward progress. I’ve been on the other side of the tracks, I’ve made choices I don’t want to make again and I have no intentions of going backwards. So, when I meet people, my confidence and energy are obvious, in fact, there are many who feel that my ego and persona are overdeveloped. And that’s ok, but to most who just enjoy me as I am, the way I enjoy them, feel that I must know I’m doing ok, that I’m happy, that I’m confident in who I am and where I am in my life, so why tell me? “He already knows.”

The problem with this is that if everyone goes around thinking this exact same thing, this results in me, or anyone, walking around never hearing nice things from the ones that matter the most. Strangers or acquaintances will say positive comments all of the time, but the feeling in friendships becomes “there’s no need.” That’s unfortunate, not just individually, but collectively. Because we all need motivation, inspiration, support and we also need to hear it and feel it. Telling everyone you love, that you love them everyday could be a lot of work, but personally, I would rather spend significant time of my life making someone else’s better because POSITIVITY is just as potent and CONTAGIOUS as MISERY. The mind is a beautiful thing and we all have more power and abilities than we think.

So, back to the beginning: How to start?

Spend some time each day telling someone something encouraging or positive. Smile more. Say thank you! And, this is a challenge I have for all of you who really want to SEE the effects of this:

Next time you are out to eat and the server brings over your food, he/she will ask, “Can I get you anything else?” If there is something you need, then ask for it, but before they leave, complete your request with, “Can I have a smile?” I guarantee the person will not be able to refrain from smiling, even if it’s a little one, you’ll see it! It costs nothing, but could mean EVERYTHING.

Thank you all for the support and the smiles :)

#KupahJames Recap from the Past Month

On looking back at the past month I realize how much FUN I’ve had! It can be crazy running a business and it can be exciting and creative and challenging and #motivating and (yes this could be about 10 blogs! So, I digress HA!) But, I’ve really been having a BLAST and trying out a lot of new or different things and looking at life in different and fun ways! SO I thought I’d share some of that and give you all a look into this past month at things you may not normally hear about from me!
 
In the past month:
 
My Favorite:
-Movie: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
-Song: Somebody that I used to know by Gotye f/Kimbra
-Creative Talent: “Walking Off the Earth”
-Venue: The New Revere Hotel
-New Grown & Sexy Spot: Minibar on Monday’s “Unplugged”
-New Equipment: Beats by Dre Pro headphones and IPAD 3! Phenomenal
-New EXPERIENCE: HONEY WHISKEY!!! What?! TRUE FAN FOR LIFE
 
Funniest Moment: A new friend wore my Jordan Concords at Bond on Sat night (They were more comfortable than her heels.)
 
New Thing I Learned: That my fire is not everyone elses and I’m trying to learn how to deal with that concept. #NotEZ
 
New Thing I Got Into or, I am Interested in: I’m in interested in a new book I put down months ago but recently picked back up. Emotional Intelligence #YES
 
New Challenge (We all face ’em!): My Challenge is my gift; that is to assist in spreading the contagion of smiling and laughter to everyone that I come in contact with.
 
Best Moment: Easy! Having a conversation with a complete stranger recently. Which was also the best part of that night. Expect the UnExpected… 😉
 
Sidenote from the Past Month: Had the most mature argument with a Close Friend and nobody stormed off or got offended! Can you believe it? Both of us were objective and stayed on task to come to an understanding about our differences of opinion. Both of us listened to the other, both were open minded to other possibilities, and both are even closer now because of it! I think it’s because both of us entered into it with NO EGO. 
 
-TIP for the next time you get in an argument: try to lose the ego and understand that someone you care about is not attacking you, nor are they attempting to insult you by expressing a thought, or a concern. Perhaps w/o the ego one might be able to see the real issue and begin to efficiently solve the problem. #JuSayn
 
As always, I’d love to hear what new or fun things YOU all have been up to or experienced lately!! #Share
 
 
 

Make Moves

Hey Everybody,

So, I’ve been receiving a lot of feedback from the AOL campaign and it’s just been overwhelming (in a good way) and I feel I need to pay it forward. The AOL ad features me as a DJ and motivational speaker and it’s been a springboard for a variety of opportunities. The majority of these conversations have been focused on the motivation, about Klass and what our team does and the example we set. There are no words for how grateful and exciting it is to hear that, however Klass wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t be here had it not been for people, experiences, and words motivating and inspiring me and us. I’d like to share some of that which has motivated me personally in the hopes that all of you will then be able to be all that you can be, or Make Moves (KJ #cosigned), in your lives to be the motivation and inspiration to someone else who can learn from you and then continue the cycle.

There are a lot of sources of motivation for me which include but are not limited to all of my loved ones, Gandhi, Will Smith, Michael Jordan, movies and music. I believed there is AT LEAST one line in every movie that can serve as a life lesson. Funny or serious, lyrics in a song can provide the words to any situation that leaves you speechless. Put words to things you can only feel. Or, usually in my case, get me MOVING. Those that know me best know I dance my way through the day. I’m ALWAYS moving.

This world holds endless opportunity for success and happiness and love. It starts with each of you, so pay attention, this is #KupahJames101, all day everyday: MAKE MOVES and share some of your motivations and some of your experiences motivating others, I’d love to hear about the impact you all are making on this world!

 

Steve Jobbs Commences…

Hey All,

Here’s a quick one which was shared with me from one of my Best Friends. It’s a great way to start off any day and believe me, it just became part of my presentation “Koreography of Life” Whether you are into technology or not, believe rumo-ville or not, stand outside of Apple Store on iPhone release day or watch 2-hr Keynotes from your desktop, iPad, iPod Touch, or iPhone; This guy has changed the way we do things. From Music to Interviews, Movies to Ringtones, Texting to Emails and Talking to Sharing; Steve Jobbs will go down in History for being one of the most monumental beings of “My Time” anyway. I’ve watched his Keynotes for the past 5 years and never heard him say anything as touching as what he says below. I hope you can take 2 minutes from your day to read this and let it digest just for a second. Swish it around and see what it does to your mindset.

I blog, tweet & Facebook because I love what I do for a living; whether I am watching a beautiful bride walk down the isle to “Canon in D”, Watch a Family up in chairs at a Mitzvah while everyone else is performing the “Hora”, or observing High School Seniors close a chapter in their lives only to begin a new one at a Prom. I work with the most talented people I can think and HELL yes I’m Biased but we all WALK THE WALK (thankfully because I do TALK) RollKall: Kupah James, Ms. Ana, Michelle D, Tarryn P, Kaz C, Anthony V, Shadi K, Kevin M and our new cast of Damien C, Lindsay S, Nikki R, Juan D, and there are more! We are dedicated and I believe I speak for all when I say we love what we do so thank all of you for giving us the platform to perform and provide amazing entertainment for parties of all shapes and sizes. If it wasn’t for many of you (especially ones reading this blog) we would not exist and I thank all of you for that.

Please enjoy the passage and take it with you today on Sept 8 2011. Its cold, rainy and dark outside. Operative word being “Outside”, Don’t ever let it be the case on the INSIDE. It Doesn’t have to be your mindset. Choose!

 

“Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobbs – Stanford University Commencement.

 

 

Can I have a smile?

So I was thinkin… (Uh-Oh)

People often say to me things like “You have too much energy and slow down, take a break or even a day off”. I hear this so much it almost becomes annoying. Key word being ALMOST…

Second, immediately following that comment is “Why are you always so happy or Don’t you ever have Bad Days?”.

I just wanted to express my thoughts about those comments. The energy that is inside of me is inexplainable, I have not yet been studied by those who contain the knowledge to tell me why I am an Off the Wall LUNATIC. So please allow this to be my warning, and disclaimer that I cannot help my energy level and no; I will not slow down or stop any time soon. Perhaps the real question you should be asking is why dont you do more with Yooooour life? Maybe that will give you a better answer and end-result.

As far my happiness? Happiness is not a pre-determined feeling that is planned out and has to be controlled by outside influences. Crazy I know huh? Happiness or the state of content is a CHOICE that one makes at the beginning of each day, remaining close to that decision allows that person to ignore drama infested gossip and life ending experiences. I choose this state of mind each and every day when I wake up and carry it with me through out. This allows me to focus on the important things that matter to me as well as those I care about. I absolutely have bad days like when my spiderman pj’s aren’t clean and I have a special somebody coming over. But I don’t let it change my universe or state of mind I just go with it and always tell myself someone has it worse than I do. Or… I just put on My Hulk or Iron Man ones (Depending on my mood)…

Back to the Happy thoughts why don’t you try it, see what happens. The worst that can happen is you smile for one extra second longer than usual… OH THE HORROR…. : P

This Note is not to anyone on my network of friends on Facebook, Twitter or who subscribe to my blog. This was just an outlet for my thoughts. Call it a public Journal… No secrets here. feel free to ignore, respond, or reject my thoughts

This is what I say to people who attempt to anger, upset or hurt me or my energy…

Anger ruins joy, steals the goodness of my mind. Forces my mouth to say terrible things. Overcoming anger brings peace of mind, leads to a mind w/o regret. If I overcome anger I will delightfully loved by everyone…

 

 


Boston’s Sexiest…

Well if I was looking for a reason/excuse to blog this would be it. Recently featured in the April Edition of Boston’s Sexiest Entrepreneurs I find myself flattered and humbled at the same time. For the last 12 years I have had one focus and that focus has been to make a living for myself, provide for others and live a balanced life. What that means is different for each individual and for me well…

28 years of age I am Kupah James and I currently run, own and operate Kupah James Inc. An umbrella corp for multiple small businesses. KlassUniversalEnt, Urban Kinetiks and “Koreography of Life” to name of few, each one of these entity’s would give anyone a good idea of what I’m about. A true kid at heart who loves to play and hang with my friends and loved ones, I was faced with adversity, poverty, racism and other debilitating factors early. All I remember thinking growing up was “How come I can’t have that?” This phrase amongst others lives with me still and is my motivation to get up each and every day and prevent myself from ever having to relive those moments.

Now I write to those willing to listen and share my stories about what I did to get where I’m at and what I will continue to do to get where I’m going. It isn’t easy, it isn’t always fun, it comes with a price and the sacrifices are plenty. You have to keep yourself focused, driven, humbled and confident in your abilities. Trust yourself and those you surround yourself with. Keep your head up, most importantly welcome the challenge you have just set for yourself and find comfort in the fact that while others will cave, break and lose where you will stand strong, remain resilient and succeed.

“I’m about whatever man” Drake Song Titled “Up All Night”

Your Boi.