Tag Archives: MakeMoves

Coming of Age

As I read through past blogs and notes, random thoughts and feelings I often wonder where I’m gonna end up. What’s at the end of my rainbow (or journey to sound more masculine 😉 ?) Am I gonna reach my full potential? Will I find a woman that takes my breath away like in the movies,) will I inspire thousands by teaching them to dance in Street Feet or to MakeMoves? Will I have a family of little Kupahs running about gnawing at my ankles? Who knows?!

What I have learned in my 30 year tenure is that no matter what I think I know… Two years pass and I realize all of the things I DIDN’T KNOW. Looking back: 20-22 clueless, 23-26 moron and & 28-30 infant! What’s exciting about this is that I’m always learning new things that allow me to take a step back and recognize my own growth. We are all today’s sum of past variables; and it’s important to remember that when making present decisions for tomorrow…

This thought came to me just about a year ago and I have been developing this for some time now.

The platform: First, you have to acknowledge the fact that you know more now/today than you did yesterday. Seems obvious right? Well take a second and think about how many times you have dated the same idiot, ate the same unhealthy thing, or landed yourself in the same financial stress after swearing you would never do THAT again? Well there you go.

The idea: To have a conversation with yourself today, from tomorrow’s you. You wanna read that through again? No problem! Try to think about what a Tomorrow’s version of you would say to a Today’s version of you. Take that advice and live it today for a better tomorrow. Don’t worry I’m gonna give examples.

Typically the worries of youth are whims of the old. What this means is that worldly problems of the inexperienced aren’t usually viewed the same by the mature. Just think of what it would be like if you told you what to do. Helping you steer clear of that girl/guy, take that job, buy that dress, pay that ticket, see that movie, or take that trip. There are some serious things too like, take on that mortgage, move to that place, see family more, invest in stocks (this I do NOT DO), or plan for your retirement instead of Foxwoods! These are some ideas and things I introduce to you from my mind and experience to yours.

I encourage you to take this trip and have this conversation with yourself. Challenge your own thinking and educate yourself from within. See what happens and let me know what things you have taught yourself, FROM YOURSELF!

Hope to hear some of those thoughts! #MAKEmoves

 

Some Days

Some days I want to be you

Some days I want what you have

Some days I wanna know who you know

Some days I wanna know what you know

 

Some days I want as much as you

Some days I wish I was

Some days I want to be there

Some days I think about it

Some days I wanna be part of it

Some days I wish I tried harder

Some days I own it

Some days are BAM!

Some days are UGH!

Some days I wish I found her

Some days I wish she found me

Some days I wish I didn’t

Some days I wish I did

Some days I wish I found

Some days I wish I kept

Some days I wish it was enough

Some days I think it’s too much…

There are days when I wish I could do something else, be someone else, live another life and then, I wake up and realize I have everything I could ever want right now in THESE days! I’m not cursed by wants, wishes & desires. I’m blessed by drive, ambition & direction. It is natural to want what you DON’T have but it is your LIFE to own and appreciate what you DO have.

#MakeMoves #NoNoise #KjSay

 

 

New Strategies for Every Excuse

I’m constantly reflecting on ways to make the most out of my day, my life, my company and I think the biggest thing I run into when I discuss #MakingMoves with others is that they don’t know how to start or where to start. I’ve written a few blogs about that, but that doesn’t cover all of the other excuses. I say excuse, not to be harsh, but because that’s all it is and I think that can be more motivating for people. No one wants to be accused of making excuses!

So, today, let’s talk about strategies for every excuse; non-specific excuses, specific excuses including a few I hear most often.

What’s a non-specific excuse? I can’t, why should I, I don’t really need a change, I don’t even know what I want, why does it matter, it’s just how it is, I’m happy outside of work, so what does it matter if work is good? I’m happy at work, so what does it matter outside of that?

Well I’m here to tell you that you can, to be happier/make a difference to yourself or others/fulfillment/success, if you’re reading this, you probably do, you can still start somewhere, it matters because what you put out is received by others – negativity breeds negativity, happiness breeds happiness, it doesn’t have to be, you’re crazy.

The first strategy is just adopting a different general way of thinking; believing you can and wanting to. From there you can work into more specific strategies for more specific excuses 😉 Start by making a list of 5 positive things that will come from whatever change you’re looking for, then 5 things you could do to work towards that (ex: make this list, update your resume, get 30 minutes of extra sleep, drink more water, schedule one hour a week of you time to do something nice for yourself.)

Let that list create new habits and new things to look forward to and turn into 10 things, etc.

Specific excuses! We all know what these can be: I don’t have enough money, Its too late, people will be mad at me, people will think I’m crazy, what if I get rejected.

Rewind to previous paragraph: The first strategy is just adopting a different general way of thinking; believing you can and wanting to. This is the toughest thing to do with specific excuses, so if you can make it over that hump. Just trust that somehow you can do it and WANT to do it – you really can start seeing changes.

Another difficult strategy you NEED here is to……. Just start! It sounds so easy so it can’t be, right?! WRONG! Just start. Just show up at that fitness class, just step outside in your sneakers and you’re bound to start running. Maybe you aren’t the best, maybe you don’t run a mile, but you’ve started. Everything else will just come with time.

You want to go back to school? Just make an appointment with an advisor, chances are they’ll do the rest of the strategizing for you. You want to switch jobs? Just start looking at job postings. It’ll start being motivation enough to take the next step.

In this space it’s helpful to write down or think about or talk about some questions. What do I need to get the job I really want? (degree in something specific, a good reference, to finish my short story, etc) How do I increase my salary? (request a performance eval, submit for a promotion, think about a new job/career path) Be healthier! (Do I want to start with my diet or with exercise? What are some things about my grocery list I could start changing? How could I drink more water throughout the day? What types of exercise would I enjoy?)

From there you should have a pretty good list of starting points and how- tos!

Some takeaways from this post:

  • Believe/trust that you can make changes/achieve goals
  • Make a conscious decision to WANT to make      changes/achieve goals
  • Make a list!
  • Just START/Just SHOW UP
  • Flesh it out with questions

The best way of getting through that first one is to soul search and be honest with yourself. If you can’t be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with? Think about what excuses you’re telling yourself. Put them on paper or in the Notes app on your phone and look at them. Are they so big? Don’t you want to start erasing them? As scary or just lazy as you feel when looking at them.. think about how great it would feel if you could look back and say you got past them and started being happier.

Beauty, Brains and a Side of Fitness

The other day someone asked me what I look for in a companion and without hesitation I answered, “Beauty, Brains & a side of Fitness.” It came out so fast I had to say it more than once to make sure I was ok with my statement. If you know how my brain works then you would know that I was playing it over in my head looking for holes in my own thought process. LOL.

First, lets establish that while I have the definition of a wandering eye.. I do not try to wander… therefore that behavior isn’t my forte. Moving right along… I have many layers and if one were to pull back some of those seemingly complicated ones they would find that I can be one of the most easy going people you have ever met: Simple, direct and to the point with no secrets or nonsense in the background.

For example, when I say I like something…wait, are you ready for this? It may come as a surprise, but, it actually means I like something… OMG NO WAY. I would not waste the energy on the acting job I would have to commit to in trying to convince my audience of anything other than the truth. The same goes for things I do not like… Ladies I’m not other men therefore I cannot speak for them but, when I say I do not like something, it is NOT an invitation to seduce me into liking it. SAVE everyone’s time or either sneak it into my life and then I’ll pull the “I told you so” or, leave it be. I’m not one to rock boats or fix stuff that doesn’t appear to be broken. I eat chicken broccoli & ziti and many variations of this particular dish. So, in 24 months when I order it please do not assume I’m boring, rather be happy that we are out in public and still enjoying social events together instead of Bertolli Dinners which can be just as good in a time crunch.

I digress…

Shallow: probably the single most debated word/topic I discuss in addition to Cockiness and the true existence of Santa Claus (who I’m pretty sure still visits me once a year – now that guy MakesMOVES! Ha.) Anyway I state loud and clear that attractiveness (to me) is important when thinking about relationships. I do realize that all the glitz and glamour fades and that’s why I also have Brains on my list and as added security (a side of fitness) to me means that whatever is LOOKING good will look good just a little longer than the one who exercises the right to drive by the gym and wave. Made myself laugh on that one: true story.

Brains are absolutely necessary to keep my attention during conversations and social interactions with other people. Gossip Queens, FaceBook Addicts, Non-Voters, and Land of ‘living with your parents,’ doesn’t suit me very well. Please have an opinion about politics, religion, history, future, technology… Something other than what happened on Kardashians last week or who Justin Timberlake was caught with on a secluded island. Spare me! Not interested. Stimulate my mind and I promise you won’t be disappointed.

 

Side of Fitness is exactly that. I’m not looking to date a female version of myself. I respect all that and those women should be proud to work as hard as they do to reach the goals they have set for themselves. I just don’t want to put my hands on larger muscles than mine (know what I mean.) A side of fitness is just that “a side if fitness.” To me that means a woman who respects the body and likes to take care of it. I don’t just mean just physically either, I’m talking mental, emotional, and spiritual Fitness. Exercise the mind anyway you can. Utilizing a fitness center is really more about mental health anyway as it promotes dedication, drive, consistency and goal setting. Find the nearest gym, sign up and then find my match.com profile! Lol kidding. My account ran out so you will have to resort to just bumping into me on the street.

What does it for you? What do you seek in a companion, partner? What traits are important to you? What do you bring to the table and what advice can you give to others? Sharing is caring so leave a comment!

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How to Start Making Moves with a TED Talk

As I’m always calling out to the masses to #MakeMoves, I wanted to add a sort of Part 2 to my recent post, How Do You Challenge Yourself to Make Moves? Today’s post is a way to get you brainstorming on where to begin. I find that I can have pretty high expectations – which, for the record, I don’t think is a bad thing (How else are you going to fulfill your potential, continue to reach for the starts, and stay motivated?!) And, I think others in my life want to live their life to higher levels as well but don’t always know how to get the ball rolling. For some people and I’m sure there are a handful of you reading this, that are self-starters/self-motivators who can have a fire lit under you and just start MakingMoves.

For others, probably most, you know you want to get from Point A to Point B but you don’t know how, or you have a confidence issue that gets in your way. To help me help you, I’d like to introduce you to the TED Talks.

From their website, TED.com, the TED talks are described as: TED is a nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design. Since then its scope has become ever broader. Along with two annual conferences — the TED Conference on the West Coast each spring, and the TEDGlobal conference in Edinburgh UK each summer — TED includes the award-winning TED Talks video site, the Open Translation Project and TED Conversations, the inspiring TED Fellows and TEDx programs, and the annual TED Prize.

There are a series of “talks” which are videos of speakers on the widest range of topics and each talk ranges from 3 min to 20 min. You can search by topic for whatever you might in the mood for; inspiring, funny, informative, etc. I can’t even make recommendations because there are already over 20 that I want to tell you about. Maybe that can be another blog post 😉

For right now, I want to focus on one in particular. It’s one of the shorter ones at 3:27 min. This TED talk is by Matt Cutts called, “Try Something New for 30 Days.” Basically he gave himself mini 30 day challenges to have fun, learn, try new things and create good habits.

Someone I know watched this and responded that, “I felt (and feel) so ready to just start doing the things I am capable of doing, working in the career I am meant to work in and living the life I want to be living. I am ready to start fulfilling my potential and want to just dive in, but I have to go through some motions of “stepping stones” and financial barriers on my way – in other words, reality. But it doesn’t mean you can’t do some things or accelerate yourself. When I watched that TED talk I felt like, ‘this was it, this is what I can do to start’ and I made a list of things that might make some good 30 day challenges and I started with things I’ve always meant to do or thought about doing.”

Again, I’m sure there are many of you that can relate to that. Well here is a tool: I challenge you to create a list of 30 day challenges and just start. Even if it’s something that isn’t directly related to a career you want or some big life change, it could be the small step forward that builds your confidence so that you can make changes and be happier and/or healthier. I’d love to hear what you come up with and to hear how you’re progressing!

Even if you decide to not take part in this challenge, spend some time on the TED website and I guarantee you will find at least one Talk that strikes a chord with you and inspires you to try something new or make a step forward (in other words MakeMoves.)

PLEASE comment, Tweet, FB me, subscribe – I can’t wait to hear what 30 day challenges you all are working on!

The WORK(B4 I Go)OUT

6′, 200 lbs of straight man-child is what I am. Half Black, Half Puerto Rican and I’m a fitness fanatic. And, not just in the gym, but across the board in my thinking and my behaviors.

There’s so much conversation about fitness today regarding eating, supplements and sleeping patterns etc. I am frequently asked what I do to exercise, eat and any general health routines I follow. I am not about to make any recommendations or tell you what you should do because I believe, and I do want to stress, in the importance of your individual life and chemical makeup. So full Disclaimer: The following is what I do, that works for me individually and may not be right for you. I am not a dietician or personal trainer and none of what I write about should be taken as medical advice or recommendations.

I, for example have an overactive thyroid gland that borders on HyperThyroidism. Your thyroid regulates your metabolism, which determines how fast and effective your body breaks down food in your digestive system. What hyperthyroidism means for me is that I can pretty much eat whatever, whenever (hate me, I know) because I will process it at an accelerated rate. With that said I still take pride in a healthy-ER diet however, I have no problem crushing a double cheeseburger with everything at 12 Midnight and then passing out.

My actual lifestyle acts as my work out in many ways as I am constantly moving for work and I’m an active, busy person in general. I get about 5-1/2 to 6hrs each night which works well for me. I do change up the bulk of my exercise/fitness routine quite frequently, but I did want to include what my typical exercise week has looked like for the past few months.

Monday

  • Morning: KJ 20 Min AM Routine
  • Evening: Street Feet(Cardio), Body Pump(Cardio Build)

Tuesday

  • Morning: 90 Min Bikram Yoga (Core)
  • Evening: Gym (Build) – I always do a strength workout, usually upper body

Wednesday

  • Morning: KJ 20 Min AM Routine
  • Basketball with the fellas (Cardio)

Thursday

  • Morning: 90 Min Bikram Yoga (Core)
  • Evening: Gym (Build) – I always do a strength workout, usually upper body

Friday

  • Morning: KJ Morning Routine Redux – Repeat 5x
    • 100 Push ups
    • 100 Crunches
    • 30 Pull ups
    • 30 Chin ups

Fitness is such an important part of my life and one of my deepest passions that I’d like to start sharing more about my active lifestyle and different work outs or healthy living details that I try out or adopt. Please let me know if you have any questions in the meantime and maybe I can create a post with that information!

As always thanks for reading and spread the word #MakeFitnessFun #MakeMoves