Tag Archives: Happiness

Blog to Vlog…

Hi Everyone, It has been a few months since my last post and I wanted to first say Happy New Year (2015) to everyone. I also wanna express my extreme gratitude for each one of you for your support over the last few years following and reading my blog. I set out with the intention to give just a little insight into the life, dreams, motivations, fears, losses and achievements of my life. My hopes and aspirations are and were to help anyone out there looking for some optimism or a positive outlook on whatever their dreams and motives are/were.

I have received such good feedback and awesome suggestions over my time blogging and i hope to have reached you as much as possible and i thank you for this relationship we have built and maintained over the life span of my blog.

I am incredibly excited to announce that i am taking my blog to another level and migrating over to video! Video is overwhelmingly popular today and through years of great feedback many of you have sought after me making my blogs into videos. The sense is that my personality is one you enjoy and that i am able to connect a little better through video vs text. Obviously everyone isn’t saying this but I feel like its a great time to make the change and I hope you all enjoy my next stage along with me.

I have already begun making videos and you can find them all on Youtube Page. My goal is to first turn many of my blog entries into vlogs and of course mix in some other new, fresh material as well. I hope you continue to take this journey with me as I have enjoyed hearing from you. I look forward to more ideas and thoughts of all of you so please do not hesitate to reach out and let me know what you’re thinking.

MakeMoves@KupahJames.Com

#MakeMoves

#MOT1VATED

Kupah James Sig

1st Date: Don’t Dos

1. Don’t go to the Movies:
Way too cliche plus you will limit your ability to even speak to the person. This is supposed to be a chance to get to know them so try something a little more social. Side note: Dinner shouldn’t be your next thought. Parks, Walks, light bites, Duck Tours, Fitness classes, sight seeing, or just meeting for Coffee somewhere to chat. OMG anything by face to face communication.

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2. Don’t talk about yourself too much:
The person is already out w you so easy on the “When I was 9 speeches” keep it casual, feel it out, if the conversation gets deep let it but, be careful not to start going into detail about how you think 9/11 was a conspiracy or why Elvis was an alien. Baby steps my friend, baby steps.

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3. Don’t look at other sexes (at least while your date is looking at you):
Pay attention to what’s in front of you. The other person knows when there’s a threat in the room so don’t confirm it by glancing off into the sunrise while you both know it’s to check out someone else. Plus, it only makes for an amusing story they share w their friends later about how you tried to be slick about it.

4. Dont talk about X’s:
We get it you have dated and if you live in Boston there’s an even better chance that you know at least one or all of their X’s. So stay clear of talking about it too much. You may be giving off signs that you are not over it, especially when saying “I’m so over it” ugh. Please be more revealing!

5. Don’t get shit-faced:
Weeknight or Weekend doesn’t matter. Two cocktails at most, you should both have questions to ask and things to share, alcohol may serve as an icebreaker but it could tell the other person your weak around the edges and can’t offer stimulation w/o alcohol consumption. This will be an argument and they will bring it up in your first official fight!

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6. Don’t overdress
Think casual, nice jeans collared shirt or at least a V-Neck. No need to go all out. Save the the best for the third or fourth date when you want to remind the other of how good you can look. The first step to keeping it fresh is KEEPING IT FRESH. #NotRocketScience.

7. Don’t be on your best behavior
Enjoy yourself and don’t hide all of your little goofy things. Speak up, voice your opinions about movies or neighborhoods and music, some pop culture (avoid the heavy stuff) see above. But trying to do everything perfect will only set you up to fail. We are not super human so don’t act like you are. If sports is on ask about it, if you know nothing, learn! Do not try to act like you know the shot clock is at the bottom of the screen and wonder why everyone is saying time ran out but you clearly see 9:20 left on the (game clock). Lol. Fellas if you can’t find a place because your smart phone is on a date w Murphy’s Law, ask for directions! Get over it. The important thing is making it there on time, not showing your outdated boy scout skills. Ps never say you were a Boy Scout as well. Lmfao. Kidding Kinda.

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8. Don’t be  too affectionate:
It’s a first date take it easy cowboy. Doesn’t matter how “Right” it feels. Tuck it in! Subtle touches, hand holding to cross the street, something is so funny you have to brush his chest but keep it PG.

9. Don’t talk immediate future:
Talk today, talk a little about yesterday and maybe even tomorrow, but stay away from the long term future. Of course we should all have goals however we change all the time and you shouldn’t want to  have someone either love or hate your future self. Defeats the purpose. Keep it in the present, let the future happen.

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10. Don’t sleep with person on the first date:
This should be obvious by now! But it isn’t. Please keep it out of the bedroom, try to get to know the person before sharing bodily fluids. It’s not worth it. Of course in the moment it is but it historically doesn’t always work out the way you thought in that lustful moment. Keep it public, keep it PG and keep it out of the sheets. Thank me later!

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What’s Next?

All I wanna do in this world while I’m here is feel like I’m leaving it “just” a little better than the way I found it. I have an onslaught of goals to reach before I leave this planet but this would undoubtedly be one of most dear to me.

I have seen many things in my short life and I’m looking forward to what’s next. I have been able to bear witness to some pretty horrible things which has allowed me to truly appreciate the beautiful things. This world is full of manic, sensitive, tough, enlightened, frightened, mean, loving and insightful people.

Seeing a sunset on a beach while on vacation is one thing but, looking out your apt/home window on a random Tues before the sun resigns for the day and overlooking all the things you have done in that day is breathtaking. Of course white sandy beaches are a must but long talks about life are cornerstones of my life and my inspiration to #DoBetter.

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I receive so many texts, emails, and messages from those of you who are out there reading my thoughts, fears, jokes, concerns and wants. I can’t express the feeling I get when I know that someone in Missouri reads my blog or that someone in Kansas took my advice on a first date (interview) lol.

Reaching out and sharing whatever gifts I may have with the rest of the world is what I seek. I don’t think I’m better than any man and I’m sure not better than any woman (Goddesses), but I do believe that I have certain talents that compel me to be around others.

I love being around people; makes me feel like I’m living. I know that people need “alone time” but I love groups, social gatherings, teams and really anything that brings a bunch of like minded people to the same place.

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However I can’t do concerts, and large capacity events like sporting games… Agreed we are all like minded in cheering on the team we like the most but seeing the underbelly of people sometimes really discourages me at my core. Not to mention my couch is way more comfortable than $10 hot dogs, lines of traffic and poor seats. lol.

 

I’m looking forward to the challenges coming in the future but I’m also craving the new experiences for which I’m about to face head on. No one likes the bad stuff but what would life be if we didn’t have something to compare the good stuff to?

Would we really even know what’s good or not? I’m always trying to raise questions in your mind as to how you view things.. well… what’s next for you? What has life taught you so far that you want to use for your tomorrow? What hasn’t happened yet that you wish does? What have you experienced so far that makes you want more of it?

Please email me and tell me what it is. I want to see each one you #MakeMoves and make the most out of this life. It isn’t for anyone else except yourself. When you reach the end of your trip do you want to look back and think of the things you never did or remember all the times you took a chance and said yes, welcomed the challenge and stood up to the doubters? Which version do you want?

Thanks so much for reading along with me and being a part of my journey as I hope I’m helping you in yours. #Friends #PenPals Until next time and please share and post and subscribe… :)

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What’s it gonna be?

I look around and I continue to engage in conversations with others about the dangers of risks or financial security. These things have been personified as if they were actual living creatures underneath our beds at night whispering in our ears “Don’t Do It”, “It’s too hard”, “You’re not good enough”. Ugh NO!

All I have to say is.. let’s get to the point on this one.

  1. It’s a Lonely Road Untraveled. This means there’s no hand book, so stop looking around for one. Your friends and close ones aren’t gonna have all of the answers so do not blame them nor should you lean on them for what you need to figure out.
  2. It’s Uncharted Territory. This is the best thing about taking a new approach to life. It means you get to write your own story and be your own director. Isn’t that was life was meant to be?
  3. Freedom. I see no freedom or job security behind corporate contracts or 10 year tenure. It all sounds like boundaries and threats. Can and cannots, Red and Yellow tapes, procedures and policies… Are you yawning yet? Moving right along.
  4. This freedom will scare you at times. Hire an accountant, keep counsel with people you trust and keep doing your thing..
  5.  You can have it all but you cannot have ALL of IT – meaning you can reach for the stars and you just might collect one or two but you will not get there with everyone you started your journey with. I have unfortunately felt the sting of this and it HURTS. You will find new support and have to build a new team.
  6. You’ll start meeting more people who #MakeMoves like you! There will be other dreamers, believers and creators to keep you company.
  7. Nothing is immediate. There are no short sprints in this marathon only bumps and small victories which you will have to learn how to collect along the way and make them mean as much as they can in the moment while trucking along to the next one. Patience…..
  8. There will be Critics. Critics are a necessity and if you utilize critics in the right situation ((handling critics)) you will know just what to do with outside interference.
  9. Sacrifices will be made. Some will be rewarding and some will cause immense pain. What’s worse is that you may not know the outcome of a decision/sacrifice until further down this rabbit hole so “buck up,” stand tall and withstand whatever comes your way until the dust settles. Sometimes though you’ll just feel relief :)
  10. “It can’t rain all the time” (For you Sami). And it won’t. When it rains, it pours and when it stops rainbows follow, so weather the storm and take what it gives you. Strength, Resilience, Perseverance and a thicker skin.
  11. If they are not riding with you then they are simply not RIDING. Pull over and let them out nicely. If they are reluctant to get off then take the necessary measures. It’s hard enough traveling a road upwards with an RV on empty carrying too much of everyone’s baggage, egos, insecurities and doubts….. (Deep Breath) You don’t need anything extra making the trip more difficult than it already is. Besides you gotta have room for the ones you WILL meet along the way.
  12. Turn your fears into your strengths. Accurately assess yourself in a mirror and turn whatever you don’t like about yourself into the thing you love about yourself. I am a shy person and afraid of meeting women or speaking in front of large groups of people. This is FACT. So what do I do for a living? I now am a Motivational Speaker, Group Exercise Instructor and a Well Known Dj/Emcee. I haven’t addressed the meeting women thing however it hasn’t really negatively affected my social life thus far. But I’m working on it!

Some things to consider:

There will be some days that will trip you up.

When that happens, get inspired:

–          Coming of Age

–          Micro-SOFT takes new approach.. Should you?

And let go of every excuse.

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Guest Post – Selfless Good Deeds: Fact or Fiction

I had an interesting conversation with a friend this week – It was pretty funny and I think it had a larger point..  KJ #CoSigned. So, I asked her to put it into a post to share with everyone this week.. Enjoy!

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Some food for thought:::

I’m attending a spinning event this Friday to raise money and bring awareness to the Family Reach Foundation. To be honest, I’m not entirely looking forward to it because we’ll be spinning for 3 hours straight, I don’t currently have padded bike shorts and I keep having flashbacks to the only other time I’ve attended a spinning class.

Last year, the man, the myth, the legend – Kupah James, invited me to a spin event for a new spinning club that opened up in Canton where he DJ’ed during a 1 hour class. I finally agreed 10 minutes before he left and at the end of it I was thrilled that I went and had a great time. But, I was not amazing at spinning, and I’m one of those annoying competitive people that prefer to succeed from the get go. (And, spinning hurts..)

In thinking about this I was wrestling with my perspective because obviously this is an amazing event for an incredible organization, but why didn’t I just donate money and leave it at that? I then recalled the episode of Friends in season 5: The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS and her debate with Joey about the existence of selfless good deeds.

I love the company I work for and we participate in a lot of events during the course of the year which all are tied to various charitable endeavors. They also almost all require physical activity – cycling, spinning, running, walking, triathlon-ing. The majority of my coworkers bike, walk or run to work from the suburbs and are highly competitive, athletically endowed individuals. For those of us that are not, we tend to get very nervous beforehand and then go back and do it again and again.

Understanding that “good deed” doesn’t always mean charity – but, as an example for the larger point, come on people why so nit-picky?

So what’s the deal – am I selfishly participating in this good deed, or is it selfless on account of the sacrifice from my energy, legs, competitive nature, embarrassment and functioning lady parts?

I can honestly say that it’s selfish for me. I’ll like being able to say I did this, I love that I exceeded my donation goal for funds raised & I get teary-eyed. In public. Whenever we talk about these organizations and learn how our impact was felt by individuals and families; It’s a great feeling.

Sorry Phoebs, Joey was right on this one. There are no selfless good deeds.

And for all of you that think you’re just a nicer person than I am and you selflessly help your friends out, pick up trash on the street when no one’s looking, whatever it is.. Let’s lay it all out there: 1 of the following are always true.

  1. It’s a great feeling to think that you’ve helped even in a small way for any cause/friend/environmental impact.
  2. And, if you’re that cold-hearted or cynical that you don’t believe in humanity – even a philanthropic millionaire who you’d assume just donates $$ for the write off or the appearance, gets the good reputation and the write off. ((Bragging rights or favors to hold against your friends))
  3. Or, as my scientist coworkers might say: it’s science. They get you to run, walk or bike for a cause the endorphins literally make you euphoric.

Selfish doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. By taking care of YOU or making YOU feel good,  you’re a better person to be around, you’re a better worker, a better friend, a better citizen and you can make a bigger impact on the world you live in.

– SP

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BACKGROUND:

For those of you who aren’t able to remember and quote every line of every episode of Friends.

Joey is participating in a telethon with PBS; Phoebe hates PBS because she used to watch Sesame Street as a kid and when her mom died she wrote them a letter to a less than satisfactory response. She accuses Joey of selfishness that appears as a good deed, because he wants to be on TV. Joey then claims there is no selfless good deed – Phoebe thinks birthing her brothers triplets was selfless and Joey calls her out because she felt great about doing that for her brother and loves the triplets.

My favorite way Phoebe tried to prove her point: She lets a bee sting her. “The bee gets to look tough in front of his bee friends and I am definitely not happy about it.” Joey replies, “You know the bee probably died right afterwards?”

“Because she fails at all her attempts, she decides to donate $200 to PBS, because “they bring happiness to lots of kids whose moms didn’t kill themselves”, and she won the bet. However, this donations leads to Joey being the volunteer which broke last year’s record, so he finally gets on TV; which makes Phoebe happy. (source)”

OutSide Da Box

One of the most important things in a successful life is having a vision.

A vision is something that can be abstract or tangible but is absolutely necessary as the foundation for any forward progress. You may call them goals, which is more commonly connected to the wants and directions of such ideas. I call them visions because that’s what they are in my mind.

All of my goals started as a vision. A moment in my life where I thought of something and then envisioned it becoming a reality and how to make it so. These are my visions and from them I form goals, which are my way of actually making them a reality.

This entry isn’t about what my visions are but more about you having a vision, what they mean to you, what ARE your visions, have you envisioned something in the past and made it so today?

But most importantly are your visions your own or are they the visions of a conformity? That’s where this gets interesting because I challenge each and everyone of you to examine your visions and call out the ones actually yours vs the ones you adopted from the “Box”. The “Box” is anything served up, advised, or promoted from the stiff thinking of the masses. In other words #LAMESAUCE

In this entry I challenge… NO, I dare you to think of a vision or call one from the past back up to the present and re-visit that vision. I ask you to take that vision and re-analyze it, examine it, refine it and then make it so! Or at least try.

Whatever it is or whatever you’re currently doing I just suggest that you think outside the box. Some of the most amazing ideas, inventions and creations came from just that. So if someone else can do it why can’t you?

No, but really – what are your visions, have you envisioned something in the past and made it so today??

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Branding – Some basics

Branding is so very important and, not just in business, but in life in general with social media being such a force in how we communicate with each other. Each one of these sites is showcasing your “brand” all over the World Wide Web.

Confession: every time I make a new friend on FB or a new Twitter follower, I immediately creep all over their pages, walls, photos and anything else I can. And most times I don’t have to ask any questions because their entire life, interests, hobbies, thoughts, beliefs and profession are online.

This should be extremely alarming to you if you are not thinking about your online profile…

Things to consider when posting online:
•It doesn’t come down on its own, whatever you post is online for about as long as the site is alive, and long after you have forgotten you posted it.
• World Wide Web: Not a secret club house, if you put it online it’s for the world. Please do not convince yourself that anyone can’t find it.
• Private Social Media Life: This is simple, it doesn’t exist. A private social media platform is an Oxymoron. Unless you have read all the terms and agreements before checking that box then how can you argue?
• Storefront: Is what your posting as interesting to the world as it is to you? Didn’t think so. An extra thought before posting historically never hurt anyone, EVER!

These are just a few of things to ponder regarding social media. There are many ways to create a brand and maintain it. Do you have to be on the cover of a magazine or play professional sports, win an academy award? Well yes, but that’s not the point.

Branding isn’t what you have done necessarily and it doesn’t have to be a specific goal either. You wanna have a direction, a goal, an image. There should be something to where you wanna get to and then you need to create the Brand to help get you there. More importantly, once you have acquired this you must continue to evolve your brand as your continue to grow.

Never forget that it’s much easier to fall off the Pedestal then it is to climb it.

I’ll leave you with this Quote, that I didn’t create…

~Remember and be nice to all the people you meet on your way up, because those will be the same people you see on the way down.~

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Top 10 Ways to keep an eX and eX

It’s Valentine’s Day.. You either love it or hate it. You’re either single or not. If you’re single – embrace it. Make Moves with your life, Do You. Spend time with your friends. Party hard.

But, whether you’re single or with someone, this day can bring up some crazy emotions.. People are always talking about how much it sucks to be single, or how great it is, or professing their loves for their significant someone. No one ever talks about the eX-Factor.

On Valentine’s Day you might be tempted to reach out to an eX and rekindle some flame.. or you’ll hear from one. So here’s a different kinda post that might be useful to you:

Top 10 Ways to Keep an Ex an Ex

  1. Delete the Number
  2. Ignore them!!!! Ignore them so much it starts to piss you off when they reach out.
  3. Find someone better
  4. Think about the times you wished you were single
  5. Make Plans w Friends
  6. Watch Good Break Up Movies and/or listen to Break Up Music
  7. Ask your closest most trusted friends to remind you of the reason they are given the Ex Title
  8. Think about the annoying times
  9. Have too much pride to look “crazy” or “desperate”
  10. Start a new hobby, class, go on a trip so you start a new chapter without any association of them

Have you used any of these? Anything missing from this list? Anything SO TRUE on this list? Let me know!

Gonna-Spend-the-Valentine

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Kupah James Sig

 

Micro-SOFT takes new approach.. Should you?

Microsoft just announced a new CEO today, Satya Nadella. He’s worked for the company since 1992, has the technical goods and gets the vision and vibe of the company. These are the main points mentioned in his selection. He wasn’t some fancy business man who “knows business” and hands were shook and deals made. He worked from the bottom to the top. Literally.

Reading about this, Nadella was quoted in a New York Times article: “In an email to Microsoft employees on Tuesday morning, he wrote that he is “defined by my curiosity and thirst for learning.” I buy more books than I can finish,” he wrote. “I sign up for more online courses than I can complete. I fundamentally believe that if you are not learning new things, you stop doing great and useful things.””

I hadn’t known about this guy before today. But, HELLO! I can confidently say he’s the f***n shit. Work your ass off. Be loyal. LEARN. Motivate yourself. Be great. THERE ARE NO EXCUSES.

You can’t read that and make excuses anymore. You’re just done. I don’t want to hear it. Sorry, I’m not sorry. Mmkay?

Let’s face it he started working for a company in the early stages, they had no idea the monster the company would become. They believed in it. They worked hard. They didn’t let people put roadblocks in the way. Or they did, and they ignored them. (Haters I’m looking at you.) This guy didn’t just get rich with the company and jump ship. He must have believed in it in some way or another, or loved the hell out of his job and kept doing what made him happy. Either way he stuck around and it paid off.

I’m an entrepreneur who’s running a thriving business. Do I want to be 1000x bigger and more successful? Yes – and then I want to by another 5000%. I believe in myself, I believe in my company, I believe in the amazing people that work for and with me. To everyone that tells me enough is never enough for me, I’m never happy, I’m never satisfied. I say to you: I am happy, I am satisfied, but there’s more happiness and greater satisfaction to be had. And, I want it.

I do not intend to stop. I do need to read more. I want to read more. I will read more. Not just to read, but to learn, to expand my knowledge base, to connect to more people. To diversify me, my company, my life and my experience.

Do you think this guy needed to take online courses? Did he need to learn more? He had JOB SECURITY PEOPLE. He had money. He had experience. But he kept reaching for more and now… HE’S THE CEO OF MICROSOFT. He’s the THIRD ONE. The first was Bill Gates. Done and done.

Like I was saying.. No excuses. Make Moves.

Make $, Spend $

“I want to live my youth not experience my age.”…

That came to me one day while debating with another about dollar bills and what to do with them, how to save it, make it, blah blah blah. I realize the importance of rainy days and/or emergencies. I know that saving money is one key to a financial security as well as ones future. We are told to manage dollars and live on a budget. Not to live beyond our means; the list continues and as we grow older we only hear more sophisticated versions of “Save Money”.

If I would like to retire young enough to enjoy some fruits of my labor then saving money is a necessity.

What if I’m to be a family man? Then my family is a wonderful reason to save. Save Save Save! A lesson they teach early in school and continue to encourage this value as life continues.

What if I wanted to just be a spend thrift and die broke?

What “They” don’t teach is how to do both, enjoy the money we’re earning now and be prepared for the future.

Let’s remember how we came into this world and how we are leaving it. Most likely it will be in a similar fashion: Broke, little to no clothing and hungry. What I mean by this is that you can’t take all that money you save with you after this life and since we haven’t figured out the exact science to say when most of us are going to die, why am I supposed to save ALL THIS MONEY?

I personally don’t want to visit Aruba and/or Hawaii in my 60’s or 70’s when I have an inhaler and a bum knee, you might but, not me. I wanna run on an Aruban beach NOW and possibly with my walker when I’m 90. Lol. I want to wear nice suits that fall on my shoulders perfectly, I would love to see something magical early in life but then be able to revisit it later on in case I realize I wasn’t mature enough to appreciate it the first time. I want to work hard and thus play harder and when my time comes I won’t feel like I was too busy saving my money to enjoy some of the freedoms and luxuries it can provide.

Don’t be fooled.. I do get it!

The average adult, with the aid of medical and technological advancements, can now live longer and may need more money saved to sustain. A soon to be grandmother is expecting her first granchild or an additional family member then I see the need to be watchful of saving. If one parent is serving the country in a military capacity then I understand that. I could go on about why living longer could/would be completely justified in needing to save more.

For me… I want to live long enough to say that I have “lived”. Simple. We have all heard phrases like “live life to the fullest” or “live like there’s no tomorrow” however I do not believe we take that to its full potential. I want to be mindful of doing that.

I live life every single day, take chances, meet new people, welcome good change while learning from poor change. I appreciate the awards and apologize for my shortcomings (well some of them) lol. I live! I push myself and refuse to be stationary by society’s expectations or demands. I set my own. So how does this relate to the title of this blog?

As a child in a single household we survived by the strongest most intuitive bold woman I will ever know: my mother. Welfare, section 8, food stamps all were part of my adolescent stages. While one half of my creation did exactly what was asked/required of her she could not protect me from the horrible humiliation I felt due to our financial situation. No one could have, it was a necessary experience I was to live and learn from. And believe me I learned…

I have successfully completed high school w 4 years perfect attendance, double majored during my undergraduate career, shared 7 years of my life working for the Norfolk County D.A.’s office while building a high end sophisticated entertainment company. Let me assure you I’m just getting started and I plan on going until I can’t go anymore.

Work hard, play hard, live bold, challenge conformity, dare to be different, question authority and believe in your own ability to #MakeMoves

See you all next time!