Tag Archives: Friends

1st Date: Don’t Dos

1. Don’t go to the Movies:
Way too cliche plus you will limit your ability to even speak to the person. This is supposed to be a chance to get to know them so try something a little more social. Side note: Dinner shouldn’t be your next thought. Parks, Walks, light bites, Duck Tours, Fitness classes, sight seeing, or just meeting for Coffee somewhere to chat. OMG anything by face to face communication.

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2. Don’t talk about yourself too much:
The person is already out w you so easy on the “When I was 9 speeches” keep it casual, feel it out, if the conversation gets deep let it but, be careful not to start going into detail about how you think 9/11 was a conspiracy or why Elvis was an alien. Baby steps my friend, baby steps.

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3. Don’t look at other sexes (at least while your date is looking at you):
Pay attention to what’s in front of you. The other person knows when there’s a threat in the room so don’t confirm it by glancing off into the sunrise while you both know it’s to check out someone else. Plus, it only makes for an amusing story they share w their friends later about how you tried to be slick about it.

4. Dont talk about X’s:
We get it you have dated and if you live in Boston there’s an even better chance that you know at least one or all of their X’s. So stay clear of talking about it too much. You may be giving off signs that you are not over it, especially when saying “I’m so over it” ugh. Please be more revealing!

5. Don’t get shit-faced:
Weeknight or Weekend doesn’t matter. Two cocktails at most, you should both have questions to ask and things to share, alcohol may serve as an icebreaker but it could tell the other person your weak around the edges and can’t offer stimulation w/o alcohol consumption. This will be an argument and they will bring it up in your first official fight!

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6. Don’t overdress
Think casual, nice jeans collared shirt or at least a V-Neck. No need to go all out. Save the the best for the third or fourth date when you want to remind the other of how good you can look. The first step to keeping it fresh is KEEPING IT FRESH. #NotRocketScience.

7. Don’t be on your best behavior
Enjoy yourself and don’t hide all of your little goofy things. Speak up, voice your opinions about movies or neighborhoods and music, some pop culture (avoid the heavy stuff) see above. But trying to do everything perfect will only set you up to fail. We are not super human so don’t act like you are. If sports is on ask about it, if you know nothing, learn! Do not try to act like you know the shot clock is at the bottom of the screen and wonder why everyone is saying time ran out but you clearly see 9:20 left on the (game clock). Lol. Fellas if you can’t find a place because your smart phone is on a date w Murphy’s Law, ask for directions! Get over it. The important thing is making it there on time, not showing your outdated boy scout skills. Ps never say you were a Boy Scout as well. Lmfao. Kidding Kinda.

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8. Don’t be  too affectionate:
It’s a first date take it easy cowboy. Doesn’t matter how “Right” it feels. Tuck it in! Subtle touches, hand holding to cross the street, something is so funny you have to brush his chest but keep it PG.

9. Don’t talk immediate future:
Talk today, talk a little about yesterday and maybe even tomorrow, but stay away from the long term future. Of course we should all have goals however we change all the time and you shouldn’t want to  have someone either love or hate your future self. Defeats the purpose. Keep it in the present, let the future happen.

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10. Don’t sleep with person on the first date:
This should be obvious by now! But it isn’t. Please keep it out of the bedroom, try to get to know the person before sharing bodily fluids. It’s not worth it. Of course in the moment it is but it historically doesn’t always work out the way you thought in that lustful moment. Keep it public, keep it PG and keep it out of the sheets. Thank me later!

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What’s Next?

All I wanna do in this world while I’m here is feel like I’m leaving it “just” a little better than the way I found it. I have an onslaught of goals to reach before I leave this planet but this would undoubtedly be one of most dear to me.

I have seen many things in my short life and I’m looking forward to what’s next. I have been able to bear witness to some pretty horrible things which has allowed me to truly appreciate the beautiful things. This world is full of manic, sensitive, tough, enlightened, frightened, mean, loving and insightful people.

Seeing a sunset on a beach while on vacation is one thing but, looking out your apt/home window on a random Tues before the sun resigns for the day and overlooking all the things you have done in that day is breathtaking. Of course white sandy beaches are a must but long talks about life are cornerstones of my life and my inspiration to #DoBetter.

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I receive so many texts, emails, and messages from those of you who are out there reading my thoughts, fears, jokes, concerns and wants. I can’t express the feeling I get when I know that someone in Missouri reads my blog or that someone in Kansas took my advice on a first date (interview) lol.

Reaching out and sharing whatever gifts I may have with the rest of the world is what I seek. I don’t think I’m better than any man and I’m sure not better than any woman (Goddesses), but I do believe that I have certain talents that compel me to be around others.

I love being around people; makes me feel like I’m living. I know that people need “alone time” but I love groups, social gatherings, teams and really anything that brings a bunch of like minded people to the same place.

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However I can’t do concerts, and large capacity events like sporting games… Agreed we are all like minded in cheering on the team we like the most but seeing the underbelly of people sometimes really discourages me at my core. Not to mention my couch is way more comfortable than $10 hot dogs, lines of traffic and poor seats. lol.

 

I’m looking forward to the challenges coming in the future but I’m also craving the new experiences for which I’m about to face head on. No one likes the bad stuff but what would life be if we didn’t have something to compare the good stuff to?

Would we really even know what’s good or not? I’m always trying to raise questions in your mind as to how you view things.. well… what’s next for you? What has life taught you so far that you want to use for your tomorrow? What hasn’t happened yet that you wish does? What have you experienced so far that makes you want more of it?

Please email me and tell me what it is. I want to see each one you #MakeMoves and make the most out of this life. It isn’t for anyone else except yourself. When you reach the end of your trip do you want to look back and think of the things you never did or remember all the times you took a chance and said yes, welcomed the challenge and stood up to the doubters? Which version do you want?

Thanks so much for reading along with me and being a part of my journey as I hope I’m helping you in yours. #Friends #PenPals Until next time and please share and post and subscribe… :)

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OutSide Da Box

One of the most important things in a successful life is having a vision.

A vision is something that can be abstract or tangible but is absolutely necessary as the foundation for any forward progress. You may call them goals, which is more commonly connected to the wants and directions of such ideas. I call them visions because that’s what they are in my mind.

All of my goals started as a vision. A moment in my life where I thought of something and then envisioned it becoming a reality and how to make it so. These are my visions and from them I form goals, which are my way of actually making them a reality.

This entry isn’t about what my visions are but more about you having a vision, what they mean to you, what ARE your visions, have you envisioned something in the past and made it so today?

But most importantly are your visions your own or are they the visions of a conformity? That’s where this gets interesting because I challenge each and everyone of you to examine your visions and call out the ones actually yours vs the ones you adopted from the “Box”. The “Box” is anything served up, advised, or promoted from the stiff thinking of the masses. In other words #LAMESAUCE

In this entry I challenge… NO, I dare you to think of a vision or call one from the past back up to the present and re-visit that vision. I ask you to take that vision and re-analyze it, examine it, refine it and then make it so! Or at least try.

Whatever it is or whatever you’re currently doing I just suggest that you think outside the box. Some of the most amazing ideas, inventions and creations came from just that. So if someone else can do it why can’t you?

No, but really – what are your visions, have you envisioned something in the past and made it so today??

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Top 10 Ways to keep an eX and eX

It’s Valentine’s Day.. You either love it or hate it. You’re either single or not. If you’re single – embrace it. Make Moves with your life, Do You. Spend time with your friends. Party hard.

But, whether you’re single or with someone, this day can bring up some crazy emotions.. People are always talking about how much it sucks to be single, or how great it is, or professing their loves for their significant someone. No one ever talks about the eX-Factor.

On Valentine’s Day you might be tempted to reach out to an eX and rekindle some flame.. or you’ll hear from one. So here’s a different kinda post that might be useful to you:

Top 10 Ways to Keep an Ex an Ex

  1. Delete the Number
  2. Ignore them!!!! Ignore them so much it starts to piss you off when they reach out.
  3. Find someone better
  4. Think about the times you wished you were single
  5. Make Plans w Friends
  6. Watch Good Break Up Movies and/or listen to Break Up Music
  7. Ask your closest most trusted friends to remind you of the reason they are given the Ex Title
  8. Think about the annoying times
  9. Have too much pride to look “crazy” or “desperate”
  10. Start a new hobby, class, go on a trip so you start a new chapter without any association of them

Have you used any of these? Anything missing from this list? Anything SO TRUE on this list? Let me know!

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Make $, Spend $

“I want to live my youth not experience my age.”…

That came to me one day while debating with another about dollar bills and what to do with them, how to save it, make it, blah blah blah. I realize the importance of rainy days and/or emergencies. I know that saving money is one key to a financial security as well as ones future. We are told to manage dollars and live on a budget. Not to live beyond our means; the list continues and as we grow older we only hear more sophisticated versions of “Save Money”.

If I would like to retire young enough to enjoy some fruits of my labor then saving money is a necessity.

What if I’m to be a family man? Then my family is a wonderful reason to save. Save Save Save! A lesson they teach early in school and continue to encourage this value as life continues.

What if I wanted to just be a spend thrift and die broke?

What “They” don’t teach is how to do both, enjoy the money we’re earning now and be prepared for the future.

Let’s remember how we came into this world and how we are leaving it. Most likely it will be in a similar fashion: Broke, little to no clothing and hungry. What I mean by this is that you can’t take all that money you save with you after this life and since we haven’t figured out the exact science to say when most of us are going to die, why am I supposed to save ALL THIS MONEY?

I personally don’t want to visit Aruba and/or Hawaii in my 60’s or 70’s when I have an inhaler and a bum knee, you might but, not me. I wanna run on an Aruban beach NOW and possibly with my walker when I’m 90. Lol. I want to wear nice suits that fall on my shoulders perfectly, I would love to see something magical early in life but then be able to revisit it later on in case I realize I wasn’t mature enough to appreciate it the first time. I want to work hard and thus play harder and when my time comes I won’t feel like I was too busy saving my money to enjoy some of the freedoms and luxuries it can provide.

Don’t be fooled.. I do get it!

The average adult, with the aid of medical and technological advancements, can now live longer and may need more money saved to sustain. A soon to be grandmother is expecting her first granchild or an additional family member then I see the need to be watchful of saving. If one parent is serving the country in a military capacity then I understand that. I could go on about why living longer could/would be completely justified in needing to save more.

For me… I want to live long enough to say that I have “lived”. Simple. We have all heard phrases like “live life to the fullest” or “live like there’s no tomorrow” however I do not believe we take that to its full potential. I want to be mindful of doing that.

I live life every single day, take chances, meet new people, welcome good change while learning from poor change. I appreciate the awards and apologize for my shortcomings (well some of them) lol. I live! I push myself and refuse to be stationary by society’s expectations or demands. I set my own. So how does this relate to the title of this blog?

As a child in a single household we survived by the strongest most intuitive bold woman I will ever know: my mother. Welfare, section 8, food stamps all were part of my adolescent stages. While one half of my creation did exactly what was asked/required of her she could not protect me from the horrible humiliation I felt due to our financial situation. No one could have, it was a necessary experience I was to live and learn from. And believe me I learned…

I have successfully completed high school w 4 years perfect attendance, double majored during my undergraduate career, shared 7 years of my life working for the Norfolk County D.A.’s office while building a high end sophisticated entertainment company. Let me assure you I’m just getting started and I plan on going until I can’t go anymore.

Work hard, play hard, live bold, challenge conformity, dare to be different, question authority and believe in your own ability to #MakeMoves

See you all next time!

Roll ‘Em

The thing that I feel the most lucky and thankful for is my family and friends. But, a close second is that I get to wake up and love every second of what I do for work every day!

It’s easy to follow society’s plan, It goes something like this..

  1. Schooling
  2. Secondary Schooling
  3. Job/Career
  4. Find a Mate/Partner
  5. Co-Habitate
  6. Pets
  7. Pro-Create
  8. Save money
  9. Raise Family
  10. Retire
  11. Eventually punch the ticket..

While all of that sounds great it also sound a little cookie cutter and boring to the opportunistic mind of me and others like me. There are so many things each person should attempt to experience but in order to experience different is to explore different, think different, believe different and want different.

I believe I am different and therefore I behave differently resulting in a different sort of life experience for me. I am both happy and nervous by this state of being but that’s the point. Being nervous isn’t something society says is ok. We are supposed to make comfortable, calculated decisions for everything, REALLY? Nah! I say NAY!

I say make safe decisions and risky decisions combined. Put yourself in a situation to live differently than everyone else. Does that mean go out and buy a Lamborghini? Well maybe but that’s not my point. My point is to try things outside your comfort zone and you just might make your comfort zone a bit bigger.

Make a list of things you would like to try but never have and how you could try them safely. Then implement that list and try one at a time, see if anything changes?

Let me know what your list looks like!

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”

~ C. JoyBell C.

 

Happy Thanksgiving

Hey Friends, Followers, Subscribers and Family. Hope everyone is ready to eat some good food and maybe see some close ones you have been missing while Making Moves and staying busy as most of us are.

First I would like to say Thanks to My Editor and Chief (Sami P) for helping me to find my voice and share these thoughts and opinions with each of you. While we we don’t see a lot of commenting from our readers we do see a lot of traffic via texts emails and phone calls regarding the likes and thoughts of all of you and we thank you for that. It wouldn’t be possible if she didn’t take the time to perfect my thoughts, organize them and provide you all with a glimpse of what Kupah James thinks, feels and likes to share with you all. So a super big SHOUT OUT TO YOU S to the P!

Instead if I posted a blog about being thankful which is relatively cliche, we thought it would be better to share some very popular memes with you to then share with your loved ones on Thanksgiving! So without further (ado) below are some random memes that I like and I hope you get a kick out of them too. There is not a method to the order, rather laughs and tickles to keep you high spirited as the holidays begin.

Enjoy and please comment, repost, share, and like everywhere and anywhere! Thanks 4
giving me your time each and every week.

#MakeMoves

 

 

 

Guest Post: Tis the Season… Of Busy Things

…Or as I more affectionately like to call it.. The Festival of Obligations. Now that sounds bad right?

September comes and I’m super excited for the Fall season – it’s my favorite, hands down. I’m enjoying the weather, the leaves and building anticipation for the holiday season.

Then the calls, texts and emails start coming in. I don’t know the actual statistics.. but, it seems to me that 90% of the population was born in the Fall. Every weekend from October – end of December has birthdays, football parties, holiday parties (Halloween weekend before and weekend after, night before Thanksgiving, Black Friday, weekend off, 3 day Columbus day weekend, Holiday parties every weekend of December..), baptisms, births.

I immediately feel overwhelmed, tired and BUSY! The first weekend of events came and I felt dread looking down the long road to January.. until I showed up and had a ton of fun!

Then the dawning realization came over me.. Yes, it’s a lot of activities. Yes, my weekends are full. But, with awesome, celebratory, fun events with all of my favorite people!

This is an amazing and fulfilling time of year. For all of those weekends I do nothing and feel like I should be “doing something” or looking for an activity to do or meaning to catch up with friends or visit family, I now have all of that handed to me on a platter with no planning required. And, more importantly, I get to share in some incredibly special moments with my closest friends.

So, while you’re running around and heavy sighing when your coworkers ask if you have plans for the weekend, try to focus on the memories you’re building, traditions you’re starting and fulfillment you’re gaining.

I’m going to continue calling it the Festival of Obligations because as bad as it sounds on the one hand, on the other, it sounds pretty darn funny.

And, in case you were wondering, I’m busy this weekend.

Thank you to Kupah for asking me to guest post this week!

—Sami

*Note: I did not coin the term Festival of Obligations – I owe all of the credit to my former boss 😉

Halloween 2013

Happy Halloween Kids!

I’ve had two tracks of conversation with people this year: Costumes (what to wear/what not to wear/most popular/overdone) and Wanting to Look Good (hot, healthy, wish I had MadeFitnessFun the past month.)

Whether you went out last night or you’re partying this weekend hear are some of Kj’S Thoughts on Halloween:

Costumes: I know a lot of people who plan on doing the typical/boring/lame sexy cop/princess/racecar driver (really?!) thing

C’mon people let’s try for some creativity – you can be anyone you want to be! Insert last year’s blog post: HOLLAween

And, please, don’t dress as Miley. Be creative. Be classy. I’m sorry, I’m not sorry.

On Wanting to Look Good: Now this we can talk about.  50% of looking good is feeling good about yourself. So put your insecurities on hold and own it.

The other 50% is #MakingMoves on the health front.

  1. Drink lots of water. Duh. Flush out your system and de-bloat.
  2. Eat something before you go out and drink. Cut out processed sugar and salt and cut down on your carb intake for the day or day before.
  3. WORKOUT! Workout the day of and the night before you’re going out. You’ll get some quick muscle tone. It helps with the first 50% we were talking about before too.
  4. If you’re going to drink, the above will help you the next day too if you’re feeling a little hungover.
  5. Don’t bar hop. The fashionably late thing is a bad look and the city will be nightmarish (pun intended!) Go somewhere comfortable and make the best between one or two places. Enjoying yourself is healthy for the mind!

If you don’t read anything else, read this:

  1. Don’t drink & drive. Cab it. Uber it. Or, kick it old school and get a DD (Designated Driver)
  2. Don’t be lame. Have fun and do something festive. (Even if you’re just watching Halloween movies and giving out candy)
  3. READ THIS POST: Why You Shouldn’t Pick Up The Halloween Slut – I’m still crying, from laughing. It also will be featured in a book I’ll write one day, as I’m jealous I didn’t write these wise words.

Spoiler Alert from the article: “A rule of thumb: You get what you see. A generic costume gets worn by a generic girl. That’s true whether you’re looking for a girlfriend type on Halloween (bad idea) or just the Halloween hookup.”

6 Rules to Live Life

This isn’t really a movie review, but you can probably see I got something out of it and I think you should definitely check it out. It was one of those things.. I’m watching it and then I heard a line, cleaned my ear out and was like, “say what?!”

That sh*t was real!

The movie is People Like Us starring Chris Pine, Michelle Pfeiffer, Olivia Wilde, Elizabeth Banks and Jon Favreau. The cast should be enough for you all to watch it 😉 Real quick, the movie is about Chris Pine’s return home after his father dies and he finds out about a sister he never knew he had. Craziness ensues.

Seriously though: great talent, deep film, legit life lessons.

The following are 6 quotes from the movie that made an impact on me and I hope they will for all of you. I don’t want to add my own comments because I think they speak loudly on their own. Instead, I hope it sparks a discussion between us and between you and whoever friend/coworker/spouse, etc.

1) If you like something because you think other people will, it’s a sure bet that nobody will.

2) Most doors in the world are closed so if you find one that you want to get into, you sure as hell better have an interesting knock.

3) Everything that you think is important isn’t, and everything that you think isn’t important, is.

4) Don’t shit where you eat.

5) Lean into it, outcome doesn’t matter, be there for it.

6) Never sleep with someone who has more problems than you.

#NuffSaid Share this post on FB, Twitter, Pinterest. COMMENT. Let me know what YOU think!

Previous Posts related to Movies:

Movie Review: World War Z

Top Ten Worst Jobs In or On a Movie

Black Swan