Tag Archives: Characteristics

1st Date: Don’t Dos

1. Don’t go to the Movies:
Way too cliche plus you will limit your ability to even speak to the person. This is supposed to be a chance to get to know them so try something a little more social. Side note: Dinner shouldn’t be your next thought. Parks, Walks, light bites, Duck Tours, Fitness classes, sight seeing, or just meeting for Coffee somewhere to chat. OMG anything by face to face communication.

describe-your-first-date_o_1359107

2. Don’t talk about yourself too much:
The person is already out w you so easy on the “When I was 9 speeches” keep it casual, feel it out, if the conversation gets deep let it but, be careful not to start going into detail about how you think 9/11 was a conspiracy or why Elvis was an alien. Baby steps my friend, baby steps.

never-do-this-on-a-first-date_c_1843477

3. Don’t look at other sexes (at least while your date is looking at you):
Pay attention to what’s in front of you. The other person knows when there’s a threat in the room so don’t confirm it by glancing off into the sunrise while you both know it’s to check out someone else. Plus, it only makes for an amusing story they share w their friends later about how you tried to be slick about it.

4. Dont talk about X’s:
We get it you have dated and if you live in Boston there’s an even better chance that you know at least one or all of their X’s. So stay clear of talking about it too much. You may be giving off signs that you are not over it, especially when saying “I’m so over it” ugh. Please be more revealing!

5. Don’t get shit-faced:
Weeknight or Weekend doesn’t matter. Two cocktails at most, you should both have questions to ask and things to share, alcohol may serve as an icebreaker but it could tell the other person your weak around the edges and can’t offer stimulation w/o alcohol consumption. This will be an argument and they will bring it up in your first official fight!

ron burgundy

6. Don’t overdress
Think casual, nice jeans collared shirt or at least a V-Neck. No need to go all out. Save the the best for the third or fourth date when you want to remind the other of how good you can look. The first step to keeping it fresh is KEEPING IT FRESH. #NotRocketScience.

7. Don’t be on your best behavior
Enjoy yourself and don’t hide all of your little goofy things. Speak up, voice your opinions about movies or neighborhoods and music, some pop culture (avoid the heavy stuff) see above. But trying to do everything perfect will only set you up to fail. We are not super human so don’t act like you are. If sports is on ask about it, if you know nothing, learn! Do not try to act like you know the shot clock is at the bottom of the screen and wonder why everyone is saying time ran out but you clearly see 9:20 left on the (game clock). Lol. Fellas if you can’t find a place because your smart phone is on a date w Murphy’s Law, ask for directions! Get over it. The important thing is making it there on time, not showing your outdated boy scout skills. Ps never say you were a Boy Scout as well. Lmfao. Kidding Kinda.

partially-blind-date_c_259394

8. Don’t be  too affectionate:
It’s a first date take it easy cowboy. Doesn’t matter how “Right” it feels. Tuck it in! Subtle touches, hand holding to cross the street, something is so funny you have to brush his chest but keep it PG.

9. Don’t talk immediate future:
Talk today, talk a little about yesterday and maybe even tomorrow, but stay away from the long term future. Of course we should all have goals however we change all the time and you shouldn’t want to  have someone either love or hate your future self. Defeats the purpose. Keep it in the present, let the future happen.

Talking-about-the-weather-on-a-first-date_o_109940

10. Don’t sleep with person on the first date:
This should be obvious by now! But it isn’t. Please keep it out of the bedroom, try to get to know the person before sharing bodily fluids. It’s not worth it. Of course in the moment it is but it historically doesn’t always work out the way you thought in that lustful moment. Keep it public, keep it PG and keep it out of the sheets. Thank me later!

not-all-men-want-sex-on-the-first-date-not-all-men-like-breast-or-butt-and-the-list-goes-on_c_2989449

KupahJamesSignatureredthumb

What’s Next?

All I wanna do in this world while I’m here is feel like I’m leaving it “just” a little better than the way I found it. I have an onslaught of goals to reach before I leave this planet but this would undoubtedly be one of most dear to me.

I have seen many things in my short life and I’m looking forward to what’s next. I have been able to bear witness to some pretty horrible things which has allowed me to truly appreciate the beautiful things. This world is full of manic, sensitive, tough, enlightened, frightened, mean, loving and insightful people.

Seeing a sunset on a beach while on vacation is one thing but, looking out your apt/home window on a random Tues before the sun resigns for the day and overlooking all the things you have done in that day is breathtaking. Of course white sandy beaches are a must but long talks about life are cornerstones of my life and my inspiration to #DoBetter.

positive thought

I receive so many texts, emails, and messages from those of you who are out there reading my thoughts, fears, jokes, concerns and wants. I can’t express the feeling I get when I know that someone in Missouri reads my blog or that someone in Kansas took my advice on a first date (interview) lol.

Reaching out and sharing whatever gifts I may have with the rest of the world is what I seek. I don’t think I’m better than any man and I’m sure not better than any woman (Goddesses), but I do believe that I have certain talents that compel me to be around others.

I love being around people; makes me feel like I’m living. I know that people need “alone time” but I love groups, social gatherings, teams and really anything that brings a bunch of like minded people to the same place.

love all

However I can’t do concerts, and large capacity events like sporting games… Agreed we are all like minded in cheering on the team we like the most but seeing the underbelly of people sometimes really discourages me at my core. Not to mention my couch is way more comfortable than $10 hot dogs, lines of traffic and poor seats. lol.

 

I’m looking forward to the challenges coming in the future but I’m also craving the new experiences for which I’m about to face head on. No one likes the bad stuff but what would life be if we didn’t have something to compare the good stuff to?

Would we really even know what’s good or not? I’m always trying to raise questions in your mind as to how you view things.. well… what’s next for you? What has life taught you so far that you want to use for your tomorrow? What hasn’t happened yet that you wish does? What have you experienced so far that makes you want more of it?

Please email me and tell me what it is. I want to see each one you #MakeMoves and make the most out of this life. It isn’t for anyone else except yourself. When you reach the end of your trip do you want to look back and think of the things you never did or remember all the times you took a chance and said yes, welcomed the challenge and stood up to the doubters? Which version do you want?

Thanks so much for reading along with me and being a part of my journey as I hope I’m helping you in yours. #Friends #PenPals Until next time and please share and post and subscribe… :)

KupahJamesSignatureredthumb

What’s it gonna be?

I look around and I continue to engage in conversations with others about the dangers of risks or financial security. These things have been personified as if they were actual living creatures underneath our beds at night whispering in our ears “Don’t Do It”, “It’s too hard”, “You’re not good enough”. Ugh NO!

All I have to say is.. let’s get to the point on this one.

  1. It’s a Lonely Road Untraveled. This means there’s no hand book, so stop looking around for one. Your friends and close ones aren’t gonna have all of the answers so do not blame them nor should you lean on them for what you need to figure out.
  2. It’s Uncharted Territory. This is the best thing about taking a new approach to life. It means you get to write your own story and be your own director. Isn’t that was life was meant to be?
  3. Freedom. I see no freedom or job security behind corporate contracts or 10 year tenure. It all sounds like boundaries and threats. Can and cannots, Red and Yellow tapes, procedures and policies… Are you yawning yet? Moving right along.
  4. This freedom will scare you at times. Hire an accountant, keep counsel with people you trust and keep doing your thing..
  5.  You can have it all but you cannot have ALL of IT – meaning you can reach for the stars and you just might collect one or two but you will not get there with everyone you started your journey with. I have unfortunately felt the sting of this and it HURTS. You will find new support and have to build a new team.
  6. You’ll start meeting more people who #MakeMoves like you! There will be other dreamers, believers and creators to keep you company.
  7. Nothing is immediate. There are no short sprints in this marathon only bumps and small victories which you will have to learn how to collect along the way and make them mean as much as they can in the moment while trucking along to the next one. Patience…..
  8. There will be Critics. Critics are a necessity and if you utilize critics in the right situation ((handling critics)) you will know just what to do with outside interference.
  9. Sacrifices will be made. Some will be rewarding and some will cause immense pain. What’s worse is that you may not know the outcome of a decision/sacrifice until further down this rabbit hole so “buck up,” stand tall and withstand whatever comes your way until the dust settles. Sometimes though you’ll just feel relief :)
  10. “It can’t rain all the time” (For you Sami). And it won’t. When it rains, it pours and when it stops rainbows follow, so weather the storm and take what it gives you. Strength, Resilience, Perseverance and a thicker skin.
  11. If they are not riding with you then they are simply not RIDING. Pull over and let them out nicely. If they are reluctant to get off then take the necessary measures. It’s hard enough traveling a road upwards with an RV on empty carrying too much of everyone’s baggage, egos, insecurities and doubts….. (Deep Breath) You don’t need anything extra making the trip more difficult than it already is. Besides you gotta have room for the ones you WILL meet along the way.
  12. Turn your fears into your strengths. Accurately assess yourself in a mirror and turn whatever you don’t like about yourself into the thing you love about yourself. I am a shy person and afraid of meeting women or speaking in front of large groups of people. This is FACT. So what do I do for a living? I now am a Motivational Speaker, Group Exercise Instructor and a Well Known Dj/Emcee. I haven’t addressed the meeting women thing however it hasn’t really negatively affected my social life thus far. But I’m working on it!

Some things to consider:

There will be some days that will trip you up.

When that happens, get inspired:

–          Coming of Age

–          Micro-SOFT takes new approach.. Should you?

And let go of every excuse.

KupahJamesSignatureredthumb

Do You Remember?

Remember you are
Remember its so far
Remember you have today
Remember you had yesterday
Remember you have him
Remember you have her
Remember you have them
Remember its here now
Remember it can be gone tomorrow
Remember the laugh you borrowed
Remember the fight you fought
Remember the time you needed to be caught
Remember the time you won
Remember the time you lost
Remember the time you cried
Remember how far you have come
Remember the time you learned
Remember the time you burned
Remember the time you promised
Remember the time you paid homage
Remember the gift you gave
Remember how to MisBehave
Remember how to dream
Remember that funny meme (lol)
Remember how to Challenge
Remember to stay balanced

If you can remind yourself of just a few of these things today tomorrow and the next you should never have to worry about forgetting how to live laugh and love.

#MakeMoves

KupahJamesSignatureredthumb

Top 10 Ways to keep an eX and eX

It’s Valentine’s Day.. You either love it or hate it. You’re either single or not. If you’re single – embrace it. Make Moves with your life, Do You. Spend time with your friends. Party hard.

But, whether you’re single or with someone, this day can bring up some crazy emotions.. People are always talking about how much it sucks to be single, or how great it is, or professing their loves for their significant someone. No one ever talks about the eX-Factor.

On Valentine’s Day you might be tempted to reach out to an eX and rekindle some flame.. or you’ll hear from one. So here’s a different kinda post that might be useful to you:

Top 10 Ways to Keep an Ex an Ex

  1. Delete the Number
  2. Ignore them!!!! Ignore them so much it starts to piss you off when they reach out.
  3. Find someone better
  4. Think about the times you wished you were single
  5. Make Plans w Friends
  6. Watch Good Break Up Movies and/or listen to Break Up Music
  7. Ask your closest most trusted friends to remind you of the reason they are given the Ex Title
  8. Think about the annoying times
  9. Have too much pride to look “crazy” or “desperate”
  10. Start a new hobby, class, go on a trip so you start a new chapter without any association of them

Have you used any of these? Anything missing from this list? Anything SO TRUE on this list? Let me know!

Gonna-Spend-the-Valentine

fdsfds

 

Kupah James Sig

 

Micro-SOFT takes new approach.. Should you?

Microsoft just announced a new CEO today, Satya Nadella. He’s worked for the company since 1992, has the technical goods and gets the vision and vibe of the company. These are the main points mentioned in his selection. He wasn’t some fancy business man who “knows business” and hands were shook and deals made. He worked from the bottom to the top. Literally.

Reading about this, Nadella was quoted in a New York Times article: “In an email to Microsoft employees on Tuesday morning, he wrote that he is “defined by my curiosity and thirst for learning.” I buy more books than I can finish,” he wrote. “I sign up for more online courses than I can complete. I fundamentally believe that if you are not learning new things, you stop doing great and useful things.””

I hadn’t known about this guy before today. But, HELLO! I can confidently say he’s the f***n shit. Work your ass off. Be loyal. LEARN. Motivate yourself. Be great. THERE ARE NO EXCUSES.

You can’t read that and make excuses anymore. You’re just done. I don’t want to hear it. Sorry, I’m not sorry. Mmkay?

Let’s face it he started working for a company in the early stages, they had no idea the monster the company would become. They believed in it. They worked hard. They didn’t let people put roadblocks in the way. Or they did, and they ignored them. (Haters I’m looking at you.) This guy didn’t just get rich with the company and jump ship. He must have believed in it in some way or another, or loved the hell out of his job and kept doing what made him happy. Either way he stuck around and it paid off.

I’m an entrepreneur who’s running a thriving business. Do I want to be 1000x bigger and more successful? Yes – and then I want to by another 5000%. I believe in myself, I believe in my company, I believe in the amazing people that work for and with me. To everyone that tells me enough is never enough for me, I’m never happy, I’m never satisfied. I say to you: I am happy, I am satisfied, but there’s more happiness and greater satisfaction to be had. And, I want it.

I do not intend to stop. I do need to read more. I want to read more. I will read more. Not just to read, but to learn, to expand my knowledge base, to connect to more people. To diversify me, my company, my life and my experience.

Do you think this guy needed to take online courses? Did he need to learn more? He had JOB SECURITY PEOPLE. He had money. He had experience. But he kept reaching for more and now… HE’S THE CEO OF MICROSOFT. He’s the THIRD ONE. The first was Bill Gates. Done and done.

Like I was saying.. No excuses. Make Moves.

Make $, Spend $

“I want to live my youth not experience my age.”…

That came to me one day while debating with another about dollar bills and what to do with them, how to save it, make it, blah blah blah. I realize the importance of rainy days and/or emergencies. I know that saving money is one key to a financial security as well as ones future. We are told to manage dollars and live on a budget. Not to live beyond our means; the list continues and as we grow older we only hear more sophisticated versions of “Save Money”.

If I would like to retire young enough to enjoy some fruits of my labor then saving money is a necessity.

What if I’m to be a family man? Then my family is a wonderful reason to save. Save Save Save! A lesson they teach early in school and continue to encourage this value as life continues.

What if I wanted to just be a spend thrift and die broke?

What “They” don’t teach is how to do both, enjoy the money we’re earning now and be prepared for the future.

Let’s remember how we came into this world and how we are leaving it. Most likely it will be in a similar fashion: Broke, little to no clothing and hungry. What I mean by this is that you can’t take all that money you save with you after this life and since we haven’t figured out the exact science to say when most of us are going to die, why am I supposed to save ALL THIS MONEY?

I personally don’t want to visit Aruba and/or Hawaii in my 60’s or 70’s when I have an inhaler and a bum knee, you might but, not me. I wanna run on an Aruban beach NOW and possibly with my walker when I’m 90. Lol. I want to wear nice suits that fall on my shoulders perfectly, I would love to see something magical early in life but then be able to revisit it later on in case I realize I wasn’t mature enough to appreciate it the first time. I want to work hard and thus play harder and when my time comes I won’t feel like I was too busy saving my money to enjoy some of the freedoms and luxuries it can provide.

Don’t be fooled.. I do get it!

The average adult, with the aid of medical and technological advancements, can now live longer and may need more money saved to sustain. A soon to be grandmother is expecting her first granchild or an additional family member then I see the need to be watchful of saving. If one parent is serving the country in a military capacity then I understand that. I could go on about why living longer could/would be completely justified in needing to save more.

For me… I want to live long enough to say that I have “lived”. Simple. We have all heard phrases like “live life to the fullest” or “live like there’s no tomorrow” however I do not believe we take that to its full potential. I want to be mindful of doing that.

I live life every single day, take chances, meet new people, welcome good change while learning from poor change. I appreciate the awards and apologize for my shortcomings (well some of them) lol. I live! I push myself and refuse to be stationary by society’s expectations or demands. I set my own. So how does this relate to the title of this blog?

As a child in a single household we survived by the strongest most intuitive bold woman I will ever know: my mother. Welfare, section 8, food stamps all were part of my adolescent stages. While one half of my creation did exactly what was asked/required of her she could not protect me from the horrible humiliation I felt due to our financial situation. No one could have, it was a necessary experience I was to live and learn from. And believe me I learned…

I have successfully completed high school w 4 years perfect attendance, double majored during my undergraduate career, shared 7 years of my life working for the Norfolk County D.A.’s office while building a high end sophisticated entertainment company. Let me assure you I’m just getting started and I plan on going until I can’t go anymore.

Work hard, play hard, live bold, challenge conformity, dare to be different, question authority and believe in your own ability to #MakeMoves

See you all next time!

Roll ‘Em

The thing that I feel the most lucky and thankful for is my family and friends. But, a close second is that I get to wake up and love every second of what I do for work every day!

It’s easy to follow society’s plan, It goes something like this..

  1. Schooling
  2. Secondary Schooling
  3. Job/Career
  4. Find a Mate/Partner
  5. Co-Habitate
  6. Pets
  7. Pro-Create
  8. Save money
  9. Raise Family
  10. Retire
  11. Eventually punch the ticket..

While all of that sounds great it also sound a little cookie cutter and boring to the opportunistic mind of me and others like me. There are so many things each person should attempt to experience but in order to experience different is to explore different, think different, believe different and want different.

I believe I am different and therefore I behave differently resulting in a different sort of life experience for me. I am both happy and nervous by this state of being but that’s the point. Being nervous isn’t something society says is ok. We are supposed to make comfortable, calculated decisions for everything, REALLY? Nah! I say NAY!

I say make safe decisions and risky decisions combined. Put yourself in a situation to live differently than everyone else. Does that mean go out and buy a Lamborghini? Well maybe but that’s not my point. My point is to try things outside your comfort zone and you just might make your comfort zone a bit bigger.

Make a list of things you would like to try but never have and how you could try them safely. Then implement that list and try one at a time, see if anything changes?

Let me know what your list looks like!

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”

~ C. JoyBell C.

 

Review of: Crossfit

I haven’t written any fitness related posts in a while and I’ve been doing something new and thought i would share yep wait for it… CROSSFIT! I know it’s the “latest” fitness “thing” and all that, and it looks really intimidating.. yaaawn. But, I’m tired of people dismissing it with those lame excuses, so I’m here to tell you what it’s about and my experience with it so far.

Crossfit combines aerobics, bodyweight exercises and weight training. Strength and conditioning – Pretty much the basics of any recommended fitness routine to achieve results.

Each class includes a warm up, and a WOD (workout of the day) and usually a stretching section and sometimes a development portion to focus on a certain strength/skill. The WOD’s are at your own individual pace – some people finish in 15 minutes, some people finish in 25 minutes. But, no individual part of it needs to be longer than 10-20 minutes.

The thing about Crossfit that I think is super important to know, and that people who do it all of the time talk about, is the culture. It’s probably talking about the culture that makes it seem like a “fad” or “cult.” (And, fun fact – it’s been around since 2000…, not last year) Everyone there does become sort of family-like or teammate-like. Everyone is positive, encouraging each other – it’s not competitive in a traditional way, you’re competing with yourself and you use friendly competition between members to push yourself through a tough workout. Sure are there some men and women who are in it for the gold? Absolutely, but walk into a yoga class or spin room and look for the HARD CORES… They are in every group of fitness fiends not just Crossfit

I dare you to walk into a Crossfit Box and not feel motivated and excited to check it out. The positive energy is everywhere. Most Boxes even offer a beginners class to familiarize you with some of the forms, names of moves and the pacing. Also if you live near quincy you can come to mine at Crossfit-93.Commy coaches are DOPE (Shout Outs to Craig (Beast), Bruce (Lion-O), and Cory (The New Guy) these are my favorite coaches all with uniques styles and ways of helping you achieve your goals whatever they may be.

That’s what kills me when people talk about how intimidating and difficult it looks. For all of you who are afraid or insecure, Crossfit is designed for you! It’s there for positive reinforcement without a personal trainer and it builds crazy confidence in yourself when you see what you can actually lift in weight, or that you CAN do a pull up and start seeing results FAST.

In terms of the heavy weight, handstands, pull ups, and burpees… Yes, they’re challenging, but yes, you can do them! Every move has a modification and you are allowed to just not do certain things and sub in other exercises. I would challenge you to overcome that and do it anyways, but if that helps get some of you in the door, then so be it.

#MAKEMOVES

Also check out this link before doing a class and find the the humor in it. It’s hilarious!!! Read the comments at the bottom as well. See you next week!

Happy Thanksgiving

Hey Friends, Followers, Subscribers and Family. Hope everyone is ready to eat some good food and maybe see some close ones you have been missing while Making Moves and staying busy as most of us are.

First I would like to say Thanks to My Editor and Chief (Sami P) for helping me to find my voice and share these thoughts and opinions with each of you. While we we don’t see a lot of commenting from our readers we do see a lot of traffic via texts emails and phone calls regarding the likes and thoughts of all of you and we thank you for that. It wouldn’t be possible if she didn’t take the time to perfect my thoughts, organize them and provide you all with a glimpse of what Kupah James thinks, feels and likes to share with you all. So a super big SHOUT OUT TO YOU S to the P!

Instead if I posted a blog about being thankful which is relatively cliche, we thought it would be better to share some very popular memes with you to then share with your loved ones on Thanksgiving! So without further (ado) below are some random memes that I like and I hope you get a kick out of them too. There is not a method to the order, rather laughs and tickles to keep you high spirited as the holidays begin.

Enjoy and please comment, repost, share, and like everywhere and anywhere! Thanks 4
giving me your time each and every week.

#MakeMoves