It’s Valentine’s Day.. You either love it or hate it. You’re either single or not. If you’re single – embrace it. Make Moves with your life, Do You. Spend time with your friends. Party hard.
But, whether you’re single or with someone, this day can bring up some crazy emotions.. People are always talking about how much it sucks to be single, or how great it is, or professing their loves for their significant someone. No one ever talks about the eX-Factor.
On Valentine’s Day you might be tempted to reach out to an eX and rekindle some flame.. or you’ll hear from one. So here’s a different kinda post that might be useful to you:
Top 10 Ways to Keep an Ex an Ex
Delete the Number
Ignore them!!!! Ignore them so much it starts to piss you off when they reach out.
Find someone better
Think about the times you wished you were single
Make Plans w Friends
Watch Good Break Up Movies and/or listen to Break Up Music
Ask your closest most trusted friends to remind you of the reason they are given the Ex Title
Think about the annoying times
Have too much pride to look “crazy” or “desperate”
Start a new hobby, class, go on a trip so you start a new chapter without any association of them
Have you used any of these? Anything missing from this list? Anything SO TRUE on this list? Let me know!
I’ve had two tracks of conversation with people this year: Costumes (what to wear/what not to wear/most popular/overdone) and Wanting to Look Good (hot, healthy, wish I had MadeFitnessFun the past month.)
Whether you went out last night or you’re partying this weekend hear are some of Kj’S Thoughts on Halloween:
Costumes: I know a lot of people who plan on doing the typical/boring/lame sexy cop/princess/racecar driver (really?!) thing
C’mon people let’s try for some creativity – you can be anyone you want to be! Insert last year’s blog post: HOLLAween
And, please, don’t dress as Miley. Be creative. Be classy. I’m sorry, I’m not sorry.
On Wanting to Look Good: Now this we can talk about. 50% of looking good is feeling good about yourself. So put your insecurities on hold and own it.
The other 50% is #MakingMoves on the health front.
Drink lots of water. Duh. Flush out your system and de-bloat.
Eat something before you go out and drink. Cut out processed sugar and salt and cut down on your carb intake for the day or day before.
WORKOUT! Workout the day of and the night before you’re going out. You’ll get some quick muscle tone. It helps with the first 50% we were talking about before too.
If you’re going to drink, the above will help you the next day too if you’re feeling a little hungover.
Don’t bar hop. The fashionably late thing is a bad look and the city will be nightmarish (pun intended!) Go somewhere comfortable and make the best between one or two places. Enjoying yourself is healthy for the mind!
If you don’t read anything else, read this:
Don’t drink & drive. Cab it. Uber it. Or, kick it old school and get a DD (Designated Driver)
Don’t be lame. Have fun and do something festive. (Even if you’re just watching Halloween movies and giving out candy)
Spoiler Alert from the article: “A rule of thumb: You get what you see. A generic costume gets worn by a generic girl. That’s true whether you’re looking for a girlfriend type on Halloween (bad idea) or just the Halloween hookup.”
The other day someone asked me what I look for in a companion and without hesitation I answered, “Beauty, Brains & a side of Fitness.” It came out so fast I had to say it more than once to make sure I was ok with my statement. If you know how my brain works then you would know that I was playing it over in my head looking for holes in my own thought process. LOL.
First, lets establish that while I have the definition of a wandering eye.. I do not try to wander… therefore that behavior isn’t my forte. Moving right along… I have many layers and if one were to pull back some of those seemingly complicated ones they would find that I can be one of the most easy going people you have ever met: Simple, direct and to the point with no secrets or nonsense in the background.
For example, when I say I like something…wait, are you ready for this? It may come as a surprise, but, it actually means I like something… OMG NO WAY. I would not waste the energy on the acting job I would have to commit to in trying to convince my audience of anything other than the truth. The same goes for things I do not like… Ladies I’m not other men therefore I cannot speak for them but, when I say I do not like something, it is NOT an invitation to seduce me into liking it. SAVE everyone’s time or either sneak it into my life and then I’ll pull the “I told you so” or, leave it be. I’m not one to rock boats or fix stuff that doesn’t appear to be broken. I eat chicken broccoli & ziti and many variations of this particular dish. So, in 24 months when I order it please do not assume I’m boring, rather be happy that we are out in public and still enjoying social events together instead of Bertolli Dinners which can be just as good in a time crunch.
Shallow: probably the single most debated word/topic I discuss in addition to Cockiness and the true existence of Santa Claus (who I’m pretty sure still visits me once a year – now that guy MakesMOVES! Ha.) Anyway I state loud and clear that attractiveness (to me) is important when thinking about relationships. I do realize that all the glitz and glamour fades and that’s why I also have Brains on my list and as added security (a side of fitness) to me means that whatever is LOOKING good will look good just a little longer than the one who exercises the right to drive by the gym and wave. Made myself laugh on that one: true story.
Brains are absolutely necessary to keep my attention during conversations and social interactions with other people. Gossip Queens, FaceBook Addicts, Non-Voters, and Land of ‘living with your parents,’ doesn’t suit me very well. Please have an opinion about politics, religion, history, future, technology… Something other than what happened on Kardashians last week or who Justin Timberlake was caught with on a secluded island. Spare me! Not interested. Stimulate my mind and I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Side of Fitness is exactly that. I’m not looking to date a female version of myself. I respect all that and those women should be proud to work as hard as they do to reach the goals they have set for themselves. I just don’t want to put my hands on larger muscles than mine (know what I mean.) A side of fitness is just that “a side if fitness.” To me that means a woman who respects the body and likes to take care of it. I don’t just mean just physically either, I’m talking mental, emotional, and spiritual Fitness. Exercise the mind anyway you can. Utilizing a fitness center is really more about mental health anyway as it promotes dedication, drive, consistency and goal setting. Find the nearest gym, sign up and then find my match.com profile! Lol kidding. My account ran out so you will have to resort to just bumping into me on the street.
What does it for you? What do you seek in a companion, partner? What traits are important to you? What do you bring to the table and what advice can you give to others? Sharing is caring so leave a comment!
The season for new flings and summer romances is almost upon us so I thought I would spare you your next EX by explaining how the next dating process should go starting with the first date, (I’m assuming the guy has already text, emailed, stalked your Facebook and called at least once!?)
The first date isn’t a first date at all and it’s important that both parties know this going into it. The first date is actually the first interview, which if it goes well, leads to an actual first date. If I’ve already lost you then move on with your day because this will be over your head completely. #NoFilter
So, on this first interview, which should lead to a first date, there are things that both parties need to do/understand if they want anything to go any further.
•Offer to pick her up
– Even though in today’s world this is seen as creepy and females are too afraid of the stalking type to allow this anymore (go figure) think of a neutral place where you can both meet and take one car from there. After all fellas you do care about the environment so taking one car is safer for the planet right (Points?)
– Still a nice touch but, no red anything because to a female who doesn’t know you, a red flower at the first interview is a RED FLAG.
– Not too dressed up, not too dressed down. Lose the polo this isn’t golf. No ties, or dress shoes either; that’s for the third date (when you raise the bar)
•Give her options on venue
– But know where you want to go!! I’m positive she will say “whatever you want” which is a trick question. For some women, this is also a test as to a man who can make his own decisions. An indecisive man is doomed to the friend zone.
•Be on time
– If you’re supposed to be done getting ready at 7 and 730 comes around, we are back on our couch playing video games or have moved onto the “Default”
I know you’re wondering what the default is and it’s easy… The default is the person that’s always down to chill, so when you call, they are always available and willing to go out and do anything. I mean you can’t expect us to get all dressed up and go nowhere can you?
– It makes everyone nervous and can stall conversation. You won’t figure out the true measure of someone through bullet points either. You can learn a lot from the flow of conversation and even how they talk about things that shows their views, likes and dislikes.
•Easy on the make-up
We don’t want to date a porcelain doll and wake up next to Raggedy Ann (Wretched)
•Help decide the venue
– Guys are simple creatures, they either won’t come up with something to live up to your expectations or they’ll fall back on their comfort place where they hang with the guys which more than likely won’t be your idea of a good time. Be prepared to make at least 2 suggestions, one an activity and one a restaurant; this will also help figure out what type of guy he is for the future (hates mini golf, allergic to seafood, etc)
Once you have gotten to the actual interview this is where you need to BE YOURSELF! You have nothing to lose and you’ll only waste everyone’s time. You could turn the other person off by behaving a certain way and it’s not even the real you. Also, and this is very important, don’t expect the person to change miraculously into a different person 6 months later if it gets that far. Show and tell the person who you are and if it pans out to a real date and into dating someone will end up disappointed, angry or resentful when your true colors come out!
Like most things I write about this one comes from a conversation I was having with a dear friend whom I respect very much (DD.) We were discussing the wealthy and how many of them spend so much time building empires or their net worth that they neglect the freedoms they have created for themselves.
Allow me to explain. I am now 30 and I am always having conversations with others about how to save, invest & spend. Most people don’t know my entire history so let me share that I didn’t come from private schools, annual family vacations, toys or other luxuries. In fact I remember going food shopping with my mother and we had a little game where I would take my friends to the car when it was time to check out because I was young and embarrassed that we were paying with food stamps. So to avoid the awkwardness we would go start the car and wait there.
The conflict I have is the ‘how much is too much’ to indulge with what I have built for myself. I currently have a company which supports my life and I’m fully self employed. I have no kids, wife, girlfriend, I don’t do drugs of any kind, zero drama (That’s right, I said it ZERO) yet sometimes I feel as if I shouldn’t be able to go to the movies twice in one week because it costs money?
Let me say this, I understand saving for the future is important and I have a retirement plan already in place. But if I can’t buy iPhone’s and go to the movies or order take out or drive something I like then WHAT IS THE POINT? I don’t want to be 60 and buy a convertible (LameSauce) I want to be 31 and drive a Bentley! Period! I don’t want to be 60 on a beach in Malibu looking at the young couples running around. I want to be the young couple running around being watched by the 60 yr old. Feel Me?
What I’m trying to say to all of you is what ever you like to do that makes you happy DO IT. And then DO IT AGAIN! Then talk about it with friends and DO IT AGAIN. Don’t wait for tomorrow or $100,000 of net worth. The movies are expensive but if you like Movies… Go to the Movies. If you’re a Gamer, GAME ON! You like Vacations? Then VACA! All I’m trying to say is that if you are a hard worker and you are doing what all adults are telling you to do all of the time you will miss what’s right in front of you which is Parks, Walks, Talk, Travels and experiences that don’t need Donald Trump’s Equity to do so either.
Live the life you have while you have the life to live it. Don’t wait until some bodily malfunction limits your comforts at a later time in life when you can enjoy the very same comforts right now.
I had mentioned on my previous fitness post that I go to a yoga class twice a week and I thought I’d tell all of you about my classes and about my experience getting into yoga. As I had no idea when I started.
When it came to yoga in general I was a blank slate – I knew it was focused on stretching, breathing and overall calmness but that was about it. I went to a class, a traditional yoga class, and it was just too dull/not challenging enough for me. I like stimulation and to feel some energy!
After this, a friend invited me to a Bikram yoga class. I don’t know if any of you have heard of or been to a Bikram yoga class but it’s basically yoga in an extremely hot room. Like over 100 degrees, those of you that know me personally know I already sweat a ton when it’s cold out, you should see me in a Bikram yoga class #JuSayin. Each class is 90 minutes long and covers 26 poses and breathing exercises.
When I went to my first class I had just pulled my back (I would not recommend exercising/yoga when you’re injured) my muscle was inflamed, I was very uncomfortable. But, even though I was really hurting I was still so calm. I went back when my back was better and was sold. I love Bikram and look forward to my classes. They’re a KJ#CoSigned way to #MakeFitnessFun
It’s the only thing I do for me specifically and each time I go I’m in competition with myself. In competition over poses; getting an extra inch out of bend or stretch that kinda thing. For example, there’s a spine-twisting pose and I just can’t get my arm behind my knee and down to the other knee. But I will and I work towards that LOL.
On a sidenote I am extremely humbled by all of the women in the classes who were killing it! I am so impressed each time.
End of the day I love Bikram, I highly recommend it for any and everyone. Men get to a class, women bring your men to a class! 90 minutes in a crazy hot room sounds intense, and it is, but it’s also relaxing and does so much for your flexibility, balance, well-being.
Let me know your thoughts! Have you ever tried a yoga class? What was your experience like, have you tried different versions?
As I’ve mentioned, I’m not huge into the scary movie thing, but I do find myself watching some during the month of October when I happen to be home and can’t figure out what to watch. The Roomies (or the Happy Couple) are always watching them in the living room during October, so sometimes I find myself grabbing one too. Some of those have included:
28 days/weeks later movies
– I like the second one better than the first (I know I know.. sequel, really?!) BUT, if I’m going to watch a zombie movie, I want it to be a zombie movie. The first one was fine until they get to the base (won’t give any spoilers) and, as a film, I understand the element of the” living trying to survive” aspect and drama etc. But, I just enjoyed the second one being more zombie-centric.
Halloween (remake) movies (I know I know.. remake?! I don’t own the originals)
(maybe all of the judgement from the movies I want to watch is why I don’t watch these.. hmm)
Dusk Til Dawn (Salma Hayek.. nuff said)
Dawn of the Dead (Legit zombie movie for you fans out there!)
What Halloween movies do you enjoy?
What Halloween movies do you ALWAYS watch?
What Halloween movies do you NOT enjoy?
I hope you all had fun! And, as always, were safe (and send me pics of your costumes below, to my FB or Twitter/Instagram @KlassUniversal or @KupahJames!)
Final Note: My thoughts go out to all families that were affected by Sandy this week. It’s important to appreciate what you have; tomorrow is never promised. 2 live is 2 love.
Hey Everyone, I just realized how complicated it was to leave a comment on my blog! Fixed that, so hopefully you will find it much easier to leave your thoughts, about my thoughts, each week? Also you will notice at the bottom, you can Like the blog through FaceBook, Pinterest and other social media outlets like Twitter. I tried to make it really easy to share with your friends, co-workers etc. So please don’t hesitate to share with anyone and everyone. I appreciate all of your emails, texts, and calls about the quality and messages my blogs have provided. I’m trying to hit 500 subscribers, so again, please share with others!
It’s that time of year! Where people either put on their masks or take them off; Lol. Per usual I wanted to think of something crafty and cool with swag, but, it’s Oct 24th and I have NOTHING. #GRRR. So, last minute trying to think of what to do with what I have!? Any ideas!? I know a group of guys playing mobsters and a few ladies doing the whole naughty cop, nurse, maid thing. Way to keep it original Ladies… LOL
Halloween or as I call it HOLLAween has always been just another day for me, nothing too exciting. I have thrown a bunch of parties where I live or gone to a few in the past, but as far as trouping it up to Salem and all that… No Thanks. HOWEVER, I have found great interest in the interests of others.
What I have found, and find quite interesting, is how many people walk around all year wearing a costume and actually use Halloween as their day to let the real person show. I think that’s pretty cool. Think about it; many of us wear uniforms or have a dress code for work, play, kids’ soccer games and cocktail dinners. There’s even a strict dress code to go clubbing in the city. BUT on Halloween there is NO DRESS CODE. In fact, you’re supposed to do whatever, be whatever and imitate anything you want. That’s pretty dope when you think about it.
Then there is the scary part: Witches, Ghosts, Goblins etc. Ummmm Ok. The last time I was scared was watching Thriller while being babysat by an older cousin. I couldn’t have been older than 6. At the end of the video when he turns and has the crazy cat eyes and starts laughing… What?! OH HELLL NO. I cried until my face hurt! LOL. Since then the scary thing was never my fancy, just doesn’t interest me much but I can appreciate the movie genre.
So let’s try to open this up? What scares you, or what movies are you still afraid of, fears you may have, memories that still give you goose bumps? Ill go first!
To this day whenever I drink Vodka I have nightmares. I don’t mean about demons and exorcisms. I mean like I crash my car and miss an event or my loved one and I have a huge falling out which causes a divide of some sort.
Well if I was looking for a reason/excuse to blog this would be it. Recently featured in the April Edition of Boston’s Sexiest Entrepreneurs I find myself flattered and humbled at the same time. For the last 12 years I have had one focus and that focus has been to make a living for myself, provide for others and live a balanced life. What that means is different for each individual and for me well…
28 years of age I am Kupah James and I currently run, own and operate Kupah James Inc. An umbrella corp for multiple small businesses. KlassUniversalEnt, Urban Kinetiks and “Koreography of Life” to name of few, each one of these entity’s would give anyone a good idea of what I’m about. A true kid at heart who loves to play and hang with my friends and loved ones, I was faced with adversity, poverty, racism and other debilitating factors early. All I remember thinking growing up was “How come I can’t have that?” This phrase amongst others lives with me still and is my motivation to get up each and every day and prevent myself from ever having to relive those moments.
Now I write to those willing to listen and share my stories about what I did to get where I’m at and what I will continue to do to get where I’m going. It isn’t easy, it isn’t always fun, it comes with a price and the sacrifices are plenty. You have to keep yourself focused, driven, humbled and confident in your abilities. Trust yourself and those you surround yourself with. Keep your head up, most importantly welcome the challenge you have just set for yourself and find comfort in the fact that while others will cave, break and lose where you will stand strong, remain resilient and succeed.
“I’m about whatever man” Drake Song Titled “Up All Night”