Category Archives: Men and Women

Spring Preview: First Dates

The season for new flings and summer romances is almost upon us so I thought I would spare you your next EX by explaining how the next dating process should go starting with the first date, (I’m assuming the guy has already text, emailed, stalked your Facebook and called at least once!?)

Source: Google Image Search

The first date isn’t a first date at all and it’s important that both parties know this going into it. The first date is actually the first interview, which if it goes well, leads to an actual first date. If I’ve already lost you then move on with your day because this will be over your head completely. #NoFilter

So, on this first interview, which should lead to a first date, there are things that both parties need to do/understand if they want anything to go any further.

Guys: 

•Offer to pick her up

–           Even though in today’s world this is seen as creepy and females are too afraid of the stalking type to allow this anymore (go figure) think of a neutral place where you can both meet and take one car from there. After all fellas you do care about the environment so taking one car is safer for the planet right (Points?)

•Flowers

–          Still a nice touch but, no red anything because to a female who doesn’t know you, a red flower at the first interview is a RED FLAG.

Source: herdailyfix.com

•Look appropriate

–           Not too dressed up, not too dressed down. Lose the polo this isn’t golf. No ties, or dress shoes either; that’s for the third date (when you raise the bar)

•Give her options on venue

–           But know where you want to go!! I’m positive she will say “whatever you want” which is a trick question. For some women, this is also a test as to a man who can make his own decisions. An indecisive man is doomed to the friend zone.

Ladies:

•Be on time

–          If you’re supposed to be done getting ready at 7 and 730 comes around, we are back on our couch playing video games or have moved onto the “Default”

I know you’re wondering what the default is and it’s easy… The default is the person that’s always down to chill, so when you call, they are always available and willing to go out and do anything. I mean you can’t expect us to get all dressed up and go nowhere can you?

•Don’t interrogate

–          It makes everyone nervous and can stall conversation. You won’t figure out the true measure of someone through bullet points either. You can learn a lot from the flow of conversation and even how they talk about things that shows their views, likes and dislikes.

•Easy on the make-up

We don’t want to date a porcelain doll and wake up next to Raggedy Ann (Wretched) 

Source: Google Image Search

•Help decide the venue

–          Guys are simple creatures, they either won’t come up with something to live up to your expectations or they’ll fall back on their comfort place where they hang with the guys which more than likely won’t be your idea of a good time. Be prepared to make at least 2 suggestions, one an activity and one a restaurant; this will also help figure out what type of guy he is for the future (hates mini golf, allergic to seafood, etc)

Once you have gotten to the actual interview this is where you need to BE YOURSELF! You have nothing to lose and you’ll only waste everyone’s time. You could turn the other person off by behaving a certain way and it’s not even the real you. Also, and this is very important, don’t expect the person to change miraculously into a different person 6 months later if it gets that far. Show and tell the person who you are and if it pans out to a real date and into dating someone will end up disappointed, angry or resentful when your true colors come out!

Source: Clemagazine.com

Last year I wrote a post about day dating ideas at the start of spring, so if you make it past the interview, check it out for some ideas!

And, as always, share YOURS! What are your suggestions for guys/girls going into the first date interview? What are some good first date interview ideas that have worked for you?

Until next time,

Breathe. Stretch. Pose. Let it go.

I had mentioned on my previous fitness post that I go to a yoga class twice a week and I thought I’d tell all of you about my classes and about my experience getting into yoga. As I had no idea when I started.

When it came to yoga in general I was a blank slate – I knew it was focused on stretching, breathing and overall calmness but that was about it. I went to a class, a traditional yoga class, and it was just too dull/not challenging enough for me. I like stimulation and to feel some energy!

After this, a friend invited me to a Bikram yoga class. I don’t know if any of you have heard of or been to a Bikram yoga class but it’s basically yoga in an extremely hot room. Like over 100 degrees, those of you that know me personally know I already sweat a ton when it’s cold out, you should see me in a Bikram yoga class #JuSayin. Each class is 90 minutes long and covers 26 poses and breathing exercises.

When I went to my first class I had just pulled my back (I would not recommend exercising/yoga when you’re injured) my muscle was inflamed, I was very uncomfortable. But, even though I was really hurting I was still so calm. I went back when my  back was better and was sold. I love Bikram and look forward to my classes. They’re a KJ#CoSigned way to #MakeFitnessFun

Source: Google Images

It’s the only thing I do for me specifically and each time I go I’m in competition with myself. In competition over poses; getting an extra inch out of bend or stretch that kinda thing. For example, there’s a spine-twisting pose and I just can’t get my arm behind my knee and down to the other knee. But I will and I work towards that LOL.

Source: BikramYoga.com

On a sidenote I am extremely humbled by all of the women in the classes who were killing it! I am so impressed each time.

End of the day I love Bikram, I highly recommend it for any and everyone. Men get to a class, women bring your men to a class! 90 minutes in a crazy hot room sounds intense, and it is, but it’s also relaxing and does so much for your flexibility, balance, well-being.

Let me know your thoughts! Have you ever tried a yoga class? What was your experience like, have you tried different versions?

As always, thanks for reading!

 

What If Kupah James was never in Entertainment?!?!?

I recently was having a conversation with my friend Sami and we were talking about careers/life choices, etc and ended up thinking about where we’d be if we made very different choices. I asked her where she thought I’d be if I never got into entertainment and it was HILARIOUS what she came up with. I asked her if she’d mind writing it up as a guest post of sorts for me to share with all of you and I think she had a little too much fun coming up with it. This is what she wrote:

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Hi Everybody! This was a lot of fun for me, thank you all for reading. And, thank you Kup for letting me participate on your blog! When Kupah asked if I’d mind writing what I was trying to say, I started thinking about some specific questions… Where would he be? What would he be doing? Not focusing so much on how other people would be impacted, but how would he?

If Kupah James never found entertainment I think he’d still be living an all-around successful and fun life. You can change a career, but you can’t change who a person is and what makes them who they are. Kupah is outgoing, loud, positive, ambitious, creative and active with an entrepreneurial spirit. He would have to be doing multiple things and working with people as much as possible.

Corporate Kupah:

I picture him in a corporate/office setting wearing a suit (suspenders over the shoulders) because he’s in a leadership or management position. Having studied sociology and criminal justice and previously working at a D.A.s office, I imagine he’d be doing something law oriented to help people or project-manage for a cause/company that helped people. That could be in a government/ public service way, or more legally/advocate based.

I imagine he would still be doing fitness and Klass with Kupah. But, he’d be going to the gym more and teaching more fitness classes (sadly, not Street Feet) than he does now. Depending on his actual day job, he’d be trying to start a foundation or open a gym. He’d be using business connections to network and find capital for these ventures.

I think he’d be in a committed relationship, living with his girlfriend, but, unsettled and feeling slightly unfulfilled. I think he’d be pursuing so many projects, jobs and hobbies to fill those voids and not know what was missing. He’d travel for work or to meet a potential investor and then get the travel bug. At that point I think he’d be trying to see as much as possible throughout the year and look into the real estate game; which would lead him to go for his realtor’s license and open up that market in the city of Boston.

I think we’d still find Kupah always on the go, always talking to people, making connections, trying to catch the next wave and forward thinking about projects and jobs. It just would be in different circles, different industries and be different activities and hobbies. I think his personal life would be different and we would find him more in the financial district or Back Bay during Happy Hour than at the latest nightclubs during the Midnight Hour.

Kupah James: Tamed-

Kupah #2 is less of an outwardly force of nature. Obviously you can’t remove someone’s love of music and creativity, but, not being the lifeblood of his day, what would that look like on Kupah #2 where movement, music and that specific type of creative element isn’t at the fore front? Now, Kupah has a hard time focusing too much on administrative type tasks/routine tasks. But, what if you have that creativity and fast-paced mind without the “muscle memory” of channeling it outward?

I think we’d have an outwardly reserved Kupah (crazy I know!) who wrote constantly and was glued to a computer for work. He’d write books and weekly columns and have a blog he updated 2-3x a day. This Kupah would work from home, be self-made and entrepreneurial but, in a completely different way.

But, this Kupah would be a dad and married. He’d be the stay at home parent, with a business minded wife. He’d take his wife on exciting vacations and plan elaborate date nights. He’d treat her like the queen she would be and be attentive and romantic.  Think date nights and heartfelt cards, foot massages, etc LOL. He would still remain active, going to the gym regularly but now, instead of teaching fitness classes, he’d coach all of his kids’ sports teams and charm all the other moms and teachers at their schools. On a different personal note, he’d have his guys’ days with his friends at more local spots and spend his holidays at home instead of a gig!

This Kupah is still outgoing, still has his natural charm and people skills, and still has his focus and ambition. He’d be creative in his work and in his relationships but his social circle would be smaller in person, but larger to the masses through media. This Kupah would reach more people internationally/nationally through his writing.

Source: IMdB

Secret Agent Kupah:

This Kupah is the dream. This is the Kupah that our Kupah intended on being when he entered college and began his pursuits of sociology and criminal justice. This Kupah’s life is full of unending excitement (not always positive.) This is a Kupah who may have another undetermined name altogether. This would be James Cooper, FBI Agent.

This Kupah channels his talents and knowledge both physically and at a computer. He hates the reports he has to type up, the memos, the meetings that he’s not leading and reading all of the suspect profiles. He answers to somebody, multiple somebodies, but leads a team and makes more life-changing decisions in the field than he ever could in another profession.  He’d use his charm and personality to have the best solve rate, hands down. Who better to gather information, back suspects into a corner conversationally and get a confession or at least real information from someone’s mom or girlfriend?

Physically he would work out constantly and be active in his daily work activities. He would be amassing all kinds of connections and networking to use as sources, aides, and to have the hook ups as he travels around for a case.  Personally, he’d have few meaningful relationships outside of his partner, family and childhood friends.

This Kupah would maximize all of his strengths and passions, but would toe the line with censoring his comments and actions as he’d hate having to answer to someone and have that accountability to a superior. Think Mike Lowery FBI agent. He wouldn’t have as many projects and hobbies, but his career would, arguably, be one giant one. He’d travel and mingle and dance and be loud and make as big a  difference. But, his difference wouldn’t be as well-known (keeping government secrets and all.)

Source: Google Images

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I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts on this one LOL!! Which Kupah do you like the best? PLEASE share, tweet, like, subscribe….

Top 10 Evaluations of Importance

Sup readers,

I realize that it’s an exciting time of the year again and there are tons of emotions, thoughts & feelings surrounding the holidays. I felt that rather than write my thoughts about the holidays or it’s season, I would write about something that relates.

There are so many things going on today that it is very easy to forget what is really important. I am not the one to tell you what is and what isn’t, however I am the guy that will proceed to share with you how I evaluate importance.

1) Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff.

2) Say what you mean and mean what you say because those that matter, won’t mind and those that mind, don’t matter.

3) Believe in your own ability to have an opinion but, be open to listening to others’ thoughts without jumping ship from your own beliefs. We are all different and have different experiences.

4) Ask for help; that’s why we have friends and contacts! Thinking you can do everything yourself is naive in this day and age so pull over and ask someone for directions, save time.

5) When upset know when to table things and know when to bring them up. There are plenty of people complaining every single day. Are you one of them or the other kind that just tables it for later, if necessary, and keeps on making moves?

6) Sleep it off, whatever it is… Sick, upset, tired, achy, depressed, irritated… Doesn’t matter! Sleep it off. Take a nap, wake up and if you’re not feeling better then address it.

7) Say “Hi!” There are 80 different ways to communicate yet we never seem to get it right. How’s this possible?

8. This is very important! If you have something nice to say to a person, SAY IT. Stop assuming they “already know.” The problem is that everyone may think the very same thing and guess what, no one says it. Take responsibility for your thoughts and speak! I promise you your kind words will not go unnoticed.

9) Gossip, Twitter Terrorists, Rumors, Hearsay, Facebook are the end of the world and its Privacy! Yes there are filters and safety features but here is an idea…. DON’T PUT IT UP. Seriously! And for those who live and swear by getting your facts from FaceBook and Twitter, get a life… #NuffSaid.

10) To me the most important thing to round out this list, and please keep in mind that these are just what popped in my head while blogging, it is YOU! All You. You You You. Never forget there is a You and You cannot take care of anyone or anything if You haven’t first taken care of You.

All in all enjoy the following photo. This guy is kind of a big deal and I read this once a day to remind myself of the things that matter and especially of the things that don’t.

Talk to you soon! Always #MakeMoves not noise…

 

Top 10 things NOT to do with an iPhone

Not in any particular order…

1) Never Complain! It’s an iPhone not a hockey puck! This thing can do things that belonged in E.T.’s Space craft. In fact even he would’ve been all like “E.T.  iPhone home” #JuSayin the phone is easily one if the greatest technological breakthroughs of our time and will make history books for your grandchildren, so remember this before u start shaking it for better cell coverage, (clowns) and yes I’ve done it LOL.

2) You don’t need to take it off of a charger. They keep saying it has more battery life, and maybe so?! Power cycling!? I’ve heard all about it. But, the average consumer is not going to notice the difference from Monday the 1st to Tuesday the 1st of the next month. Trust me! The tests they use to figure that stuff out is far beyond what we do or my pay grade. So charge away!!

3) Never ever put it over a toilet, trash or sink! Let’s be honest people, the iPhone goes where you go, especially after Taco and Fajita night (Yum). I know you’re thinking, “But, how else can you keep up on social media Facebook stalking and talking smack (that you would never say to someone’s face) on Twitter, or reading the last few pages of 50 Shades of Grey, while you’re creating artwork in your respective lavatory receptacle?!” Get a life people, and put your phone somewhere safe for a few minutes! Flickers, FB Stalkers and Twitter Terrorists = LAME!

4) Never keep inappropriate photos on your phone. Cut it out. You don’t need them! They can only cause grief and embarrassment. LOL! Girls, stop showing yourself to the world through photos! How ‘bout this: if a guy wants to see you maybe he should just spend time with you! OMG I’m a genius, and side note, the kissy face is GROSS and not sexy at all so remove that from your repertoire entirely please. I’m pretty sure 10% of the female population can even pull it off, so, take a good look in a mirror and ask a real friend if you’re in that % or not. I’m doing you a favor here.

5) Please do not allow others to hold your phone! It is not their prized possession and they will not treat it as such. They will easily become distracted and your phone will be the victim. Even better, case or no case they will put your phone anywhere on any surface as they cannot appreciate the angel-like delicacy of the iPhones casing. I’m talking to every other phone carrier out there! Notice how Apple doesn’t make commercials digging other companies? Exactly! Because when you’re on the top there’s no one to throw digs at.

6) Pay careful attn to this one! DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT take part in any GROUP MESSAGING. It’s your nightmare! There’s always someone on the group that you don’t know and apparently their life will be over because you responded “to all”. Sometimes people don’t even know who’s in the group and start chomping off insults while the other person is reading the whole thing. Men, women love catching you doing bad things so next time you get hit with 20 Q’s it could be a set up. Two girls group messaging one guy asking all sorts of questions, Dude really? It’s over for you. Learn how to use your phone.

7) Open pockets, lose purses and butter fingers are not suited to iPhone users! So stop and put it inside something secure and safe. If you are able to walk around with a safe DO IT. Or purchase an Otterbox! It’s huge and completely messes up the look of the phone but it will be safe!

8.) Don’t save numbers like this “Dad Cell” or “Becky Work” it’s ridiculous. Remember… Most amazing device ever? When you save a name you can apply a “work, home, or iPhone” to the number. It really isn’t a big deal, but, I will point it out and laugh at you if I see it otherwise. A part two to this is: Don’t buy an iPhone and not know how to use it… Multitasking, Multi-Gesturing, Cut-Copy-Pasting, Emoticons, Landscape Mode, Hard Reset, Instant Camera, Photo Sharing, Siri, iTunes, Screen Shots, Sharing multiple photos at once? Please know these things or bring the phone back. It’s like have a Ferrari and riding in the trunk with the music off in the slow lane. LMAO.

9) This is more for the Playa’s and Play-Ettes of the world who think they are so smart turning the phone to silent but allowing it to vibrate. I don’t know the exact statistic but I’m pretty sure everyone on the planet now has an ear for a vibrating phone. So, leaving it on vibrate only tells the person you are either trying to be polite and not have your phone ringing ORRR you’re trying to hide all of those awesome text messages and phone calls coming through that are just “FRIENDS” lol. P.S. ever notice when a female has a call, and it’s not a secret, the name is always announced BUT when it is someone else all we hear is “Friend???” #SideNote #JuSayin.

10) Let me repeat again this list is in NO particular order of importance it’s just how they came to me. : )

Recently Apple developed this amazing technology called iMessage which is the equivalent to Wack-Berries internal communication line (BBM I believe it is called.) If you are unfamiliar with this amazing-ness it gives a receipt of a read message and tells you if it was delivered to the other person with iMessage. Amazing except that the world thinks it’s the CIA and removes this option leaving the sender curious. Look people, if you text me and I don’t text back, it’s for 1 of 3 reasons. 1) I’m actually busy at the moment and can’t respond efficiently enough to your question or statement, 2) Whatever you wrote requires an actual thought and I’m processing it to respond the best way possible rather than answering your “I miss you so much” text with an “ok” response (we all know how that feels) or  3) Yeah it was delivered and yeah I read it and I didn’t respond… Read between the lines people I just don’t want to talk to you. Nothing personal but nothing your saying at the time is worth responding to at that time. Or you’re a crazy psycho, text too much, repeat yourself, you have a knack for arguing via text, which all pretty much explains itself.

Now go get yourself an APPLE PRODUCT and join the rest of society. Hope you got a chuckle because I certainly did writing this one. Have a good day and #MakeMoves

His, Hers and the Truth

Ok here’s the scenario: a friend calls and tells you that his “Psycho Girlfriend” just did something psycho and he’s confused and doesn’t know what to do. He’s freaking out and all over the place trying to make a decision; Does he leave her, how to fix it, how could she be so crazy? All the while I’m sitting on the other end waiting for a pause… Once I hear it, I ask, “well what did you do?”

Now here’s where you have to pay attention. Am I A) Automatically blaming him for her actions, B) Not trusting him to tell me the truth, C) Secretly happy for his distress LOL ( #JuSayin people like that exist), or D) I want to hear more of this amazing story that just stopped me from MakingMoves to play counselor?

Well the answer is NONE OF THE ABOVE. I am asking because I believe in a few things, as you have come to realize through my blog, and one notion which I would like to share with you today is this: His, Hers & the Truth. Completely makes sense when you think about it.

So let’s break this down. People, when experiencing most things in life, view them through a skewed perspective (not surprising and not wrong either): their own. For example, a gentleman opening the door for an older lady can be viewed by one patron as a very nice young man who’s civil, kind, polite… While another patron, witnessing the very same thing, could think that he just opened the door to look good for the older lady’s younger attractive relative or friend who’s walking right behind them… See! Now even I don’t know what the TRUTH is, I’m merely establishing the fact that it is very easy to look at the same situation through completely different lenses.

When a person tells you a story I think you would be simple minded to just accept it at face value. If you think it’s rude to make such a judgmental statement please think of the closest people to you and identify the following: the negative Nancy, the drug addict, the drama queen, the over achiever, the leader, the follower, the successful one and so on. I promise you that each one of these individuals has their own set of beliefs and sees the world differently, so if your closest friends can have their own agendas, why wouldn’t a friend or, even better, a stranger?

What I am proposing here is taking a second to “Consider the Source” and remember that there is always His version of the truth, Her version of the truth and of THE TRUTH (which I have come to find is usually a combination of both over exaggerated stories.)

So the next time you get that 911 phone call, or hear a complete stranger tell you the facts of life, or hear about the newest non-sense. Consider the Source and always ask… is this His, Hers or the TRUTH.

Please help me get more subscribers! I get new ones every time I blog and I’m trying to increase. Also, if there is a topic you would like to hear my thoughts on, please reply or email me at MakeMoves@KupahJames.Com. See you next Week!