Category Archives: Authentic

HOLLAween

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It’s that time of year! Where people either put on their masks or take them off; Lol. Per usual I wanted to think of something crafty and cool with swag, but, it’s Oct 24th and I have NOTHING. #GRRR. So, last minute trying to think of what to do with what I have!? Any ideas!? I know a group of guys playing mobsters and a few ladies doing the whole naughty cop, nurse, maid thing. Way to keep it original Ladies… LOL

Halloween or as I call it HOLLAween has always been just another day for me, nothing too exciting. I have thrown a bunch of parties where I live or gone to a few in the past, but as far as trouping it up to Salem and all that… No Thanks. HOWEVER, I have found great interest in the interests of others.

Source: Google Image Search for Halloween (orig from: brandthunder.com)

What I have found, and find quite interesting, is how many people walk around all year wearing a costume and actually use Halloween as their day to let the real person show. I think that’s pretty cool. Think about it; many of us wear uniforms or have a dress code for work, play, kids’ soccer games and cocktail dinners. There’s even a strict dress code to go clubbing in the city. BUT on Halloween there is NO DRESS CODE. In fact, you’re supposed to do whatever, be whatever and imitate anything you want. That’s pretty dope when you think about it.

Then there is the scary part: Witches, Ghosts, Goblins etc. Ummmm Ok. The last time I was scared was watching Thriller while being babysat by an older cousin. I couldn’t have been older than 6. At the end of the video when he turns and has the crazy cat eyes and starts laughing… What?! OH HELLL NO. I cried until my face hurt! LOL. Since then the scary thing was never my fancy, just doesn’t interest me much but I can appreciate the movie genre.

So let’s try to open this up? What scares you, or what movies are you still afraid of, fears you may have, memories that still give you goose bumps? Ill go first!

To this day whenever I drink Vodka I have nightmares. I don’t mean about demons and exorcisms. I mean like I crash my car and miss an event or my loved one and I have a huge falling out which causes a divide of some sort.

Your turn!

A story you should read..

There are so many things I can be grateful for in my life and I try my hardest to remember how hard others have had it in their lives before I think about my “have’s and have-nots.” I was thinking of a story I once heard,  and I felt compelled to share it with my readers, as I thought it was the perfect way to express how incredibly lucky I think I am in my life. So, please read it to the end and I hope that you can understand the lesson provided, but also look inside yourself and find this inspiring. When I heard this story, I was inspired and have been ever since.

“Like many families in the US, our ancestors are most likely from other parts of the world. Well that’s no different in this story: here was a Latin family whose dreams and aspirations were, like everyone else’s, about coming to America to find and hopefully live the American Dream. Dreams can sometimes turn into nightmares within a house hold and for the young girl of this story, that’s what happened. Very set in their ways, this family didn’t use words to express love and affection rather they “took care of business” and you should assume the rest. Living relatively modestly, this girl found herself on the other end of some really unhealthy and abusive experiences. At such a young age (6-12), you can imagine the developmental risks and implications of these interactions. All too familiar with local police she became a bit of a run away, learning about life on the streets and using the real (at time harsh) world as her classroom since she didn’t find any solace, comfort or place in a traditional learning environment. Burdened by family pressures while hardened by life lessons she met a man, she bared his children before she was even 20yrs of age. No education, no strong family ties and no wedding ring. Only promises of a future one day down the road. This man wasn’t exactly the knight in shining armor and he used manipulation and preyed on her love for him; eventually this lead to more abuse and mental deformations. After years of abuse and ridicule she found enough strength to take, what were now her children, and raise them on her own. With no career in sight and a measly G.E.D she made sure her children always had food on the table and clothes on their backs. They may not have had fancy toys and 20in rims but they had each other…

You must understand this story is already more than what some people have dealt with in their lives and trust me I realize that there is worse out there… Read On Please…

Relying on government aid and local town scholarships she was able to give her children the opportunities they needed to make friends and do most things other families and children were able to do. Yes their cereal had generic labels and cheese came in a block but to the outside world, the family took care of itself. Taking and applying some lessons she learned in her early days on the streets she taught her children respect, honor, values and morals. Her children both then had enough skills to finish college, have jobs/careers and are law abiding citizens. Her children say please and thank you to complete strangers. Her children are friendly with each other and love one another and communicate daily. Her children have no criminal records. Her children have never done drugs (WHAT???)! Her children love and support her to this day. This woman still struggles today with physical ailments and a personality disease that doesn’t always allow her to be happy or pleasant. She has fought with people, pushed them away and made some poor decisions because of this disease. She has lost loved ones because of this disease. She has limited options in life now because of this disease. Yet she still gets up every single morning and puts on a smile for a world which has not dealt her the best hand in life. I think about this woman and I need to make sure all my readers know how much I admire this woman for her fight when she could’ve quit. I admire her will when there was no way, I admire her optimism in the face of reality and I wish I had her strength to start over and lose and start over again.”

I want everyone, and I mean everyone, to know how much I love my mother. I’m so proud of her fight and will and the knowledge she provided to her children when she could’ve quit. I am so thankful for her sacrifices she made to raise two children in this difficult world. I love her with all of my heart and people sometimes ask me where I get my energy from and I would like to proudly admit that I get it from my momma!

Until next time!

“The Secret of Happiness” on my 30th Birthday

Good Morning – Today is my 30th Birthday! #KJ’s30 !

I don’t normally pay much attention to my birthdays, but I’ve been looking forward to this one. Not for a celebration or anything like that, but because this feels like a milestone for me.

I live my life happy, smiling, moving and with friends & family. I have a good life, but I have some big goals and opportunities ahead of me. For today’s blog, I wanted to share a story from the book ‘The Alchemist’ by Paulo Coelho entitled, “the Secret of Happiness.” I’d love to hear how you all interpret it and what you can take away from it. For me, it’s inspiring and gives focus looking ahead at this next chapter of my life.

‘The Secret of Happiness:’

“A merchant sent his son to learn the Secret of Happiness from the wisest of men. The young man wandered through the desert for forty days until he reached a beautiful castle at the top of a mountain. There lived the sage that the young man was looking for.

However, instead of finding a holy man, our hero entered a room and saw a great deal of activity; merchants coming and going, people chatting in the corners, a small orchestra playing sweet melodies, and there was a table laden with the most delectable dishes of that part of the world.

The wise man talked to everybody, and the young man had to wait for two hours until it was time for his audience.

With considerable patience, the Sage listened attentively to the reason for the boy’s visit, but told him that at that moment he did not have the time to explain to him the Secret of Happiness.

He suggested that the young man take a stroll around his palace and come back in two hours’ time.

“However, I want to ask you a favor,” he added, handling the boy a teaspoon, in which he poured two drops of oil. “While you walk, carry this spoon and don’t let the oil spill.”

The young man began to climb up and down the palace staircases, always keeping his eyes fixed on the spoon. At the end of two hours he returned to the presence of the wise man.

“So,” asked the sage, “did you see the Persian tapestries hanging in my dining room? Did you see the garden that the Master of Gardeners took ten years to create? Did you notice the beautiful parchments in my library?”

Embarrassed, the young man confessed that he had seen nothing. His only concern was not to spill the drops of oil that the wise man had entrusted to him.

“So, go back and see the wonders of my world,” said the wise man. “You can’t trust a man if you don’t know his house.”

Now more at ease, the young man took the spoon and strolled again through the palace, this time paying attention to all the works of art that hung from the ceiling and walls. He saw the gardens, the mountains all around the palace, the delicacy of the flowers, the taste with which each work of art was placed in its niche. Returning to the sage, he reported in detail all that he had seen.

“But where are the two drops of oil that I entrusted to you?” asked the sage.

Looking down at the spoon, the young man realized that he had spilled the oil.

“Well, that is the only advice I have to give you,” said the sage of sages. “The Secret of Happiness lies in looking at all the wonders of the world and never forgetting the two drops of oil in the spoon.””

Summer 2012 ReKap

I had a great Summer and had a ton of fun – I am more than sad to see it go, but, I’m glad to have the opportunity to look back on it and highlight some of it in a Summer ReKap for you all!

(I know Summer isn’t officially over for about another week and a half BUT after Labor Day passes and Chocolate Bar starts up, it becomes the Fall for me)

HERE WE GO!

Had to go with my Top 3 for these first few (Summer had WAY too many awesome things going on!):

  • -Movie: Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, Prometheus.
  • -Song: Only One by Chris Lake, She Wolf by David Guetta, Don’t you worry Child by Swedish House Mafia
  • -Venue: MiniBar still going strong On Mondays and Emerald is Growing Quickly! One Memorable Royale Night with Cito and Behrang (Miss those Guys)
  • -Creative Talent: Somebody that i used to know (Cover) By Walk off the Earth STILL AMAZING
  • -New Grown & Sexy Spot: Emerald Lounge (see my review in this post,) The Seaport has been amazing for the Summer*
  • -New Equipment: New Rayn Mixer “62” Any questions?! Haha
  • -New Experience: Started riding a Motorcycle; dropped the first day and been riding ever since. Indescribable!
  • Funniest Moment: Oh man, in my life there are so many…
  • Best Moment: Fire at a Friends house talking and reminiscing until Sunrise. That’s a good life!
  • New Thing I Learned: How to buy a Condo and How to Ride a Crouch Rocket!
  • New Thing I Got Into or, I am Interested in: Reading is growing on me little by little and I may have caught myself watching episodes of Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix… OMG SMH….
  • New Challenge: Developing my organization skills and attempting to grow to the next level in entertainment. Fitness is still a strong passion and strengthening my relationships with friends and family. That last one is especially important because you are a result of who you surround yourself with. Deny till you die but it is what it is.
How was your Summer? What were some of your favorite moments/experiences? Any new spots, movies or songs I should be digging into?!
Until next time……….

How to start being Happy

I talk a lot about happiness and positivity in my life and on this blog; How to identify it, how to keep it, the importance in spreading it, etc. I talk about those things in generalities and sometimes through stories. People have said they agree, they believe that too, they want to strive for happiness and positivity but they don’t always know how or where to begin. It can be hard to start somewhere positive and avoid the patterns of negativity or unhappiness that have been created out of habits. Habits of indifference, dirty looks, judgment, insecurity, laziness; all of the common things people do everyday and aren’t always aware that they’re doing.

How crazy is it that it can be HARD to be HAPPY or to be POSITIVE?! I don’t believe it should be, or that it really is.. I think people need to change their mindset and be proactive. To help get as many people started that truly want to be, I think you can begin with the fundamentals. The fundamentals that we’ve all learned or heard since we were kids: Manners and politeness (which lead to greater kindness.)

Not too long ago simple manners and politeness were standard teachings in households. Of course, this wasn’t/isn’t always the case, but for most, or at the very least it was expected in school. Somewhere down the road between suing each other, racial and cultural differences, rumors, social media bullying we have become so afraid to say anything to anyone. Sometimes when I say, “thank you” people are astonished that the words still exist. Seriously?!

People never seem afraid to point out when someone fails or makes a mistake, but rarely make the effort to say something nice or supportive. I’m confused, and slighted, that while we can tear people down daily, not too many people have the courage to pick people up. Should you quit your job to rush to the aid of a loved one having a bad day? No! Should you try to be a superhero and put your realistic needs and priorities aside? No! But, looking someone in the eye and genuinely saying, “Hey, I like that outfit,” “Nice job today,” “Congratulations on that man, that’s awesome,” “I appreciate you always being such a good friend,” can’t be so difficult!

I spend most of my day smiling and constantly thinking about forward progress. I’ve been on the other side of the tracks, I’ve made choices I don’t want to make again and I have no intentions of going backwards. So, when I meet people, my confidence and energy are obvious, in fact, there are many who feel that my ego and persona are overdeveloped. And that’s ok, but to most who just enjoy me as I am, the way I enjoy them, feel that I must know I’m doing ok, that I’m happy, that I’m confident in who I am and where I am in my life, so why tell me? “He already knows.”

The problem with this is that if everyone goes around thinking this exact same thing, this results in me, or anyone, walking around never hearing nice things from the ones that matter the most. Strangers or acquaintances will say positive comments all of the time, but the feeling in friendships becomes “there’s no need.” That’s unfortunate, not just individually, but collectively. Because we all need motivation, inspiration, support and we also need to hear it and feel it. Telling everyone you love, that you love them everyday could be a lot of work, but personally, I would rather spend significant time of my life making someone else’s better because POSITIVITY is just as potent and CONTAGIOUS as MISERY. The mind is a beautiful thing and we all have more power and abilities than we think.

So, back to the beginning: How to start?

Spend some time each day telling someone something encouraging or positive. Smile more. Say thank you! And, this is a challenge I have for all of you who really want to SEE the effects of this:

Next time you are out to eat and the server brings over your food, he/she will ask, “Can I get you anything else?” If there is something you need, then ask for it, but before they leave, complete your request with, “Can I have a smile?” I guarantee the person will not be able to refrain from smiling, even if it’s a little one, you’ll see it! It costs nothing, but could mean EVERYTHING.

Thank you all for the support and the smiles :)

Afraid

I am afraid of tomorrow not being as successful as it was today.

I am afraid of losing those which mean the most to me.

I am afraid to begin losing what makes me so special.

I am afraid of performing badly at an event.

I am afraid of giving my mentees the wrong advice.

I am afraid people won’t like my dance moves in Street Feet.

I am afraid of not knowing the answer.

I am afraid when I ask Her out, that she will say no.

I am afraid I will never find Her.

I am afraid that someone will do it better than me.

I am afraid someone will do it instead of me.

I am afraid my friends will forget about me.

I am afraid to keep pushing.

I am afraid of the consequences of non-conformity.

I am afraid to blindly trust love.

I am afraid of bringing children into this world.

I am afraid that I’m not ready.

I am afraid of being afraid.

**

I am not stopping.

Each one of these fears and concerns is what motivates me into trying my best every day, so that one day I will not be afraid. I am not only human; I am human only!