Titles…

Look kids, This is not the 1800’s or the 1900’s for that matter and with the advancement and influence of social media this topic needs to be talked about. Two people meet, they talk, they date and then they name their relationship for them to both know the do’s and don’ts, can and can-nots and the overall expectations moving forward and I’m thinking (Bleep That Noise)! Listen up cuz i’m only gonna “write” this once lol.

Titles can range from Dating to Flings to an elaborate list of other names people use to define their current relationship status.

What’s important to remember is that a title often is the beginning of the end for most men. And now a days women too.  When a man meets a woman and begins to court her he wants to call and text and pick her up and pay and listen and interact with her. He wants to be in her thoughts and he wants to impress her with whatever he has to offer. When a woman meets a man she is sizing him up to see if she can see what their kids will look like and what her name sounds like with with his last name attached, watching the way he eats and how he might be dressed and  so on.

Men and Women experience what is commonly known as the “honeymoon phase” where men are typically saying all the right things and performing all the right behaviors. Women are continuing to size up the man sharing every sweet detail with her closest friends. This is a great phase and we should hope to stay in this phase but unfortunately it doesn’t. Either an over emotional man (Huuuu) or the woman will begin asking about what tomorrow will bring. It starts with words like “So, I was wondering; or Where do you think this is going: or Do you want take it to next level? Or even do you think we should see other people?” At this point the Type A personality female or the common male is now beginning to sweat. Everything has been going so well, why would either of them want to mess that up? And it never happens at the right time is always during a romantic dinner or the fourth quarter of the NBA Finals or the Season Finale of Say Yes to The Dress…

Here’s the thing? I personally feel that titles tend to set expectations where sincerity used to live. Meaning instead of being sweet for remembering special days or sending flowers the other person is now required too and I have to say that is a game changer. I’m not speaking for all men and certainly for all women and i’m not even saying that this is true for anyone of you reading this post. But if the shoe fits…

However, I am saying that maybe, just maybe we don’t all need a title to be loyal or honest or faithful, sincere authentic or romantic. I for one feel that if a woman makes me feel a certain way and I make her feel a certain way then nothing would ever matter. I wouldn’t need a title to tell me who she was to me or how much I mean to her. All I would need is “SHE” and all she would need is He. Titles are for outsiders who need to understand what two people have, a social norm to help define what two people mean to each other. If you know anything about me to you know that i’m not one for conformity. NO, the woman I meet will be able to look into my eyes and read all the titles and safe places she will ever have to see or feel right there whether she’s in my presence or not. The only title ill need is her being exactly who she is when I met her and vice versa.

I’m not trying to imply that people shouldn’t have Titles at all. Like always i’m taking a topic and attempting to raise some questions to otherwise known as traditional behaviors or social norms and I would like to open up your minds to see other opportunities and ways of thinking.

KupahJamesSignatureredthumb