Coming of Age

As I read through past blogs and notes, random thoughts and feelings I often wonder where I’m gonna end up. What’s at the end of my rainbow (or journey to sound more masculine 😉 ?) Am I gonna reach my full potential? Will I find a woman that takes my breath away like in the movies,) will I inspire thousands by teaching them to dance in Street Feet or to MakeMoves? Will I have a family of little Kupahs running about gnawing at my ankles? Who knows?!

What I have learned in my 30 year tenure is that no matter what I think I know… Two years pass and I realize all of the things I DIDN’T KNOW. Looking back: 20-22 clueless, 23-26 moron and & 28-30 infant! What’s exciting about this is that I’m always learning new things that allow me to take a step back and recognize my own growth. We are all today’s sum of past variables; and it’s important to remember that when making present decisions for tomorrow…

This thought came to me just about a year ago and I have been developing this for some time now.

The platform: First, you have to acknowledge the fact that you know more now/today than you did yesterday. Seems obvious right? Well take a second and think about how many times you have dated the same idiot, ate the same unhealthy thing, or landed yourself in the same financial stress after swearing you would never do THAT again? Well there you go.

The idea: To have a conversation with yourself today, from tomorrow’s you. You wanna read that through again? No problem! Try to think about what a Tomorrow’s version of you would say to a Today’s version of you. Take that advice and live it today for a better tomorrow. Don’t worry I’m gonna give examples.

Typically the worries of youth are whims of the old. What this means is that worldly problems of the inexperienced aren’t usually viewed the same by the mature. Just think of what it would be like if you told you what to do. Helping you steer clear of that girl/guy, take that job, buy that dress, pay that ticket, see that movie, or take that trip. There are some serious things too like, take on that mortgage, move to that place, see family more, invest in stocks (this I do NOT DO), or plan for your retirement instead of Foxwoods! These are some ideas and things I introduce to you from my mind and experience to yours.

I encourage you to take this trip and have this conversation with yourself. Challenge your own thinking and educate yourself from within. See what happens and let me know what things you have taught yourself, FROM YOURSELF!

Hope to hear some of those thoughts! #MAKEmoves

 

Some Days

Some days I want to be you

Some days I want what you have

Some days I wanna know who you know

Some days I wanna know what you know

 

Some days I want as much as you

Some days I wish I was

Some days I want to be there

Some days I think about it

Some days I wanna be part of it

Some days I wish I tried harder

Some days I own it

Some days are BAM!

Some days are UGH!

Some days I wish I found her

Some days I wish she found me

Some days I wish I didn’t

Some days I wish I did

Some days I wish I found

Some days I wish I kept

Some days I wish it was enough

Some days I think it’s too much…

There are days when I wish I could do something else, be someone else, live another life and then, I wake up and realize I have everything I could ever want right now in THESE days! I’m not cursed by wants, wishes & desires. I’m blessed by drive, ambition & direction. It is natural to want what you DON’T have but it is your LIFE to own and appreciate what you DO have.

#MakeMoves #NoNoise #KjSay

 

 

Kupah James 101: Handling Critics

In this world you have many different types of people: People with different personalities, views, thoughts and motivators. These people do not always get along and the reasons for this are as complicated as the variety of personalities that are out there.

Most of you that read my blog have hopefully, at some point, been moved, inspired and maybe even learned something new and exciting about yourself? That is the sole purpose of my blog and I’m so thankful to read some of your responses and comments via, text, email etc. because you are all making moves you are engaging yourselves into a new way of thinking and gaining momentum in a positive direction. Taking my thoughts to another level and making them your own actions is such an amazing feeling and iI’m encouraged to keep the positivity flowing while we spread this movement forward.

As you continue to grow and enhance your own lifestyle or work ethic you may notice that others around you will not always share in your new excitement. Confusion might strike as to why you are different “all of the sudden.” For example, if you radically change jobs for which you are required to be up earlier than normal, some friends will protest your new curfew and pressure you to stay with what’s “normal.” Or if you find yourself in a new relationship and can’t play with the homies everyday, there may be some tension towards the new boyfriend or girlfriend because of your absences.

I’m going to over generalize these groups of individuals as “Critics.” Critics are a person or persons who are not willing to grow WITH you, alongside you. Instead they could become jealous of your new direction, confused by your new behavior and take it as a personal insult. You might hear things like “You’ve been different since” or “All of the sudden you’re” maybe even “what happened to the old you.”

These are hurtful things to say to a person you care about and what you must understand is that they (critics) could be saying and doing these things from their own emotional place. They are feeling left out of your new direction and possible growth and don’t fully know how to express themselves. It’s unfortunate for you to have to take on more responsibility but you are going to have to attempt to comfort them.

  1. Remind them how much they mean to you.
  2. Communicate what you have been doing and how you are only trying to better yourself as a person to be a better friend, employee, son, daughter, etc.
  3. Sometimes just a sit down and an explanation might be all that’s necessary to untangle the thoughts that have spawned due to all the new activity.

I also want to make sure you know that it is absolutely imperative that you continue on the road you are on and you don’t go back to where you were. People will sometimes say “You forgot where you came from” and that should hurt. I personally have heard it from some of my closest friends and it stays with me and hurts everyday. But it’s not that I forget where I came from rather it’s I know what I’m worth and where I’m headed and pursuing that is the point of life: To move, grow, evolve, enhance, change, develop, inquire, build, format, lose, gain, eat, run, play, sleep, love and #MakeMoves.

I remember where I’m from every single day of my life. It’s what inspires me to move forward and get up and not quit and not take long breaks and not ever be satisfied. We live in a world where we can change our own stars and I don’t know about you but, I have already changed mine and I will not be denied my future because of Critics in my present who never understood my past.

Be aware of how changes in your life impact those around you and then address it (see 1-3 above.) Then, stay the course and trust yourself.

Thanks for reading the blog and following my thoughts. How do you handle critics? Any other ways you can think of?