Parents Just Don’t Understand

This week is for Young Adults (kids) and my Big Kids (Adults) so share with anyone whom fits into either of these two categories. Still with me? Good.

Parents and their children are notoriously getting into arguments which, at the end of each encounter, leave both parties feeling a little defeated. I have had my fair share of ups and downs with my own parents (mother) and even if I feel right in my argument, I still feel like a sack of potatoes shortly thereafter. There’s just something about the connection with parents that does that to you.

Per usual I was talking to one of my closest friends about parents and parenting and, while I don’t have any children of my own, please allow me to shed light on what I think happens between Adults and their respective Youths.

As a youth we are taught to mind adults simply because they are adults; no questions asked. We are taught to be honest, share, pay attention, be polite, wear our seat belts, obey rules and laws, believe in the Easter Bunny, leave fallen teeth out for an imaginary woman with wings who will somehow get into my locked fortress of slumber only to sneak into the space between my drooling face, pillow and mattress to take out the fallen tooth and replace it with a dollar bill of which is most likely bigger and heavier than she is which makes me wonder where she keeps all of these $1 bills in the first place? Sighhhhhhhh.

My point is that we look up to our parents while we are young and I think there may be some gaps in between. Now we’re left with how to bridge this transition from childhood to adulthood and what happens when children are no longer children.

I want to note that I still look up to my mother and lots of parents for the sacrifices and commitments they have made to their children. But, parents no longer are in a position to hold you accountable for table etiquette and convince you of imaginary characters. So because the teaching (for the most part) is done parents can feel left in the dust by their children.

Youth will be always be ahead of Adults in regards to technology, language, slang, fashion and modern day trends because that’s new and evolving daily and the youth, who have NO responsibilities can keep up with the changes daily unlike the adults who are still sitting in traffic trying to reach DD or Starbucks before the morning meeting at 9am sharp.

Conversations now sound like this “(Insert your name here) you have all the time in the world for your friends but never anytime for you family”, “You should be careful with the guy/girl because I heard a story in Texas of a guy who did blah or a girl who tried to blahhhhhh” Or my personal favorite “Kupah you should slow down, you try to do too much and maybe if you showed some patience….Blahhhhh” catch my drift?

What I think parents need to understand is that while the child should never take the role of parent, parenting needs to evolve even if nothing else around them doesn’t. Parents need to trust the investment of time they put into their children to make good, smart decisions, and hang with the right crowd and get enough sleep.

I am 30 years old graduated top of my undergraduate class with two bachelors degrees, worked for the state for 7yrs, created and operate a 6 figure company, teach fitness, I’ve been in magazines and billboards and my mother will still say to me “watch out” and “be careful” or “I do too much” Did I miss something?

I understand that parents never stop feeling like parents and from the bottom of my heart I hope mine never stops. But I am suggesting that all parents evolve in their relationship with their youth. Evolve into a role of counsel and support; children will reach out for advice and support when it’s wanted and really needed.

In a lighter sense, you can evolve with the times through your Youth and learn some things from them in turn. One suggestion: Youth get their information from smartphones, social media and conversations with friends. Adults get it from the tainted, spun, biased news…. Stop watching the news and get outside with your youth. Facebook and Twitter are not the enemy, Fox 25 news is! Lol. Learn to text and snap chat, tweet and email, Skype or FaceTime back and forth, use an app, you might learn something and have something new to relate to and discuss with your Youth!

There’s plenty of love out there and we all have it inside of each and everyone of us. We just need to open up and MakeMoves…. Until next time!

Boston Marathon

Hundreds of years ago the Ancient Greeks, founders of Democracy, fought the Persians for the freedom they strongly believed in.  The Greeks earned their freedom and defeated the Persians at the Battle of Marathon.  Immediately following the battle, the Athenian soldier Pheidippides ran from the battlefield at Marathon, 26.2 miles to the city of Athens.  When Pheidippides finally reached Athens, he stood amongst his people and managed to proclaim the final word “Victory!” before collapsing to his death.  This turning point in history, marking the beginnings of Democratic society is honored today with the tradition of the Marathon.

I wanted to share that bit of background, in case you had never heard that story before, but also because I think it’s a great story to have in mind when thinking about the events of this years Boston marathon.

I won’t rehash what happened, what I can say from that day was that I was safe and my nearest and dearest were safe and unharmed. What’s important is to focus on the good that was seen on Monday. There are many who are focusing on the culprit, the motives, the Why, their anger. And that is completely understandable.

I choose, however, to focus on the survivors, the courage, the What now and the future. There are many amazing stories of ordinary citizens, running towards the explosion to help the injured, the injured enduring the aftermath and remaining strong. The families of those that were lost have been speaking out with grace and appreciation for the strength and support from this nation. I think those messages spread hope and encouragement. That the good in people cannot be taken and doesn’t have to be lost.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by all of the bad people in this world, but Patton Oswalt said it best when pointing out that there are so many more good people.

The courage of the survivors, the families, the civilians on the street right after, the businesses who sheltered people, the police, firemen and medical professionals who risk their lives to save others, was inspiring.

Now we move forward, we rise above, we figure out how to heal and we don’t let fear or hatred infect us. Whoever is behind this probably doesn’t have a satisfying answer as to Why, I don’t think any answer to Why would make anyone feel better or make any sense. But, it’s probably safe to say they wanted to make us afraid, this was an act of terror.

We win by not allowing that to take over. As a city we have a long and storied history of overcoming extreme adversity and conflict. The response to these events has not been any different. We are strong. #WeAreBoston. Boston is a city with a small town soul. We’re a family and we’re tough. So is this country.

The story at the beginning of this blog is representative of where we are today. We are a united group, of Bostonians, of Americans, of people, who are strong and can win any battle. This week has already been a journey and will continue to be one, but we will claim, “victory!” Either in our choices, in our focus on the positive, in continued change to be better and as we stand together.

Continue to #MakeMoves, #StayStrong, #BeKlassy, #WeAreBoston.

The Day that Einstein Feared

I don’t want to get on a soapbox about the following, I think it speaks for itself. But, it’s something I do feel strongly about and think it so crazy. It was only a few short years ago (or so it seems LOL) that people were only just starting to get cell phones.

The day that Albert Einstein most feared may have finally arrived..

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A day at the beach.

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Having dinner out with your friends.

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Out on an intimate date.

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Having a conversation with your BFF  

BFF is “Best Friends Forever”

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A visit to the museum

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Enjoying the sights

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It’s hereClick Me!

Communication people! Interface – for real! Share a laugh so someone SEES you laugh out loud, take in the sights while you still have that luxury, spend time with your best friends, put the phone AWAY or OFF on a date.

 

I’m NOT suggesting  a war with technology, merely highlighting the experiences being missed that are happening right in front of you. I know that even I am guilty of sitting down at a table with friends at times and checking my phone for what is supposed to be a routine check to see if i have missed any notifications and I find myself clicking on a link then tweeting, making sure it posted to Facebook then seeing who retweeted it only to miss the whole introduction provided by the server and now I don’t know what the specials are? Not Making Moves…

 

I realize that we cannot stop the movement. Cell Phones and social media have already staked their claim on how we interact today and in the future to come. However allow me to offer a few suggestions on integrating them in a better way.

 

Instead of attempting to 86 cell phones lets make them part of the conversation. Let’s include the content at our fingertips as a way to spark convos or laughs. By bringing the cell phone into the convo rather ignoring your audience to stalk someone’s instagram, we are already off to a better start.

 

Between ECard, Meme’s, Rotten ECards and N*** Be Like and B**** Be Like there is a wealth of things to get the laughs going at a table and sharing them in person is even better than using group texting and other forms of mass sharing. Or if you are the serious types who yearn for CNN or Sportcenter, use those apps to converse over why we lost Welker and why people should be afraid that North Korea has 6 missile pointed in our direction for “TESTING” Um… We tend to not react very well to threats or imminent violence. Check the history books.

Another suggestion is to use the phones in a timely manner. Such as everyone checking their phones at the same time making appropriate responses, retweeting, stalking, liking and following, then the phones go back in a purse or anywhere that doesn’t disengage the user from the party. I have already begun doing this with myself and my friends. It comes off as rude at first but if you explain to people what you’re trying to accomplish, I feel that most would adopt the thought process behind what I’m saying here.

 

I am a communicator, if you know me you know that I talk and talk and talk and talk. To some that is not cool but to most it’s perfectly fine because I need to be interactive with people that I am around. It is not to hear myself speak! In fact it because I actually value your presence and self enough to engage in a conversation with you about whatever there is to be talked about. However, ladies and homegirls…. I am not your sister, gay best friend or mom so please spare me the conversations about how the clouds reminded you of the Olympic rings and then you thought about rings and what kind of ring you would want for your wedding which lead you to the rings under your eyes and how you need more concealer to cover it up…(large inhale)… I’m gonna pass on that fun piece of information. Thanks. You know who I’m talking to : )

 

Anyway in closing I just want to emphasize how important it is to interact and communicate with those around you AND those not around you (FB, TWITTER, INSTAGRAM etc). Never forget that people did many a great things before these services and I think that it would be a very sad thing when kids don’t know how to introduce themselves or ask a question… Think about it. Where do you fit in this time of Cell Phones, Kindles and Computers?

 

Live this life, enjoy this life and appreciate it. #MakeMoves.

*******Photos may not to appear on the iPhone*********

Subject for Debate

A friend of mine is reading a book and sent me this passage over the weekend. She thought it would be an interesting conversation topic for me LOL!

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“Our entire society’s based on discontent: people wanting more and more and more, being constantly dissatisfied with their homes, their bodies, their decor, their clothes, everything. Taking it for granted that that’s the whole point of life, never to be satisfied. If you’re perfectly happy with what you’ve got—specially if what you’ve got isn’t even all that spectacular—then you’re dangerous. You’re breaking all the rules, you’re undermining the sacred economy, you’re challenging every assumption that society’s built on………..

Throughout history—even a hundred years ago, even fifty—it was discontent that was considered the threat to society, the defiance of natural law, the danger that had to be exterminated at all costs. Now it’s contentment. What a strange reversal.”

French, Tana (2008-07-17). The Likeness: A Novel (p. 165). Penguin Group. Kindle Edition.

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I think there are many things to be said on this subject. It’s a great subject for debate and I think it’s a matter of what you do with the choices you make. If you’re happy with what you have and you’re content, but what you have are the things you truly wanted, not just settling for not making an attempt at your dreams, then I think that can be more than enough for someone.

It’s true that society is based on discontent in the more shallow dissatisfactions described above, but also on deeper levels. I believe it comes down to wanting to live and feel your life. Reaching, changing, trying on new ideas, careers and experiences in search for that meaning and feeling of fulfillment. Maybe it’s something that’s never attainable and that’s the journey that your life is, or maybe it is and either some people find it and it just doesn’t look the same as mine would.

I definitely want more. More businesses, more fun, more money, more success, more clients, more travel, more homes, more people to share this with: more. And I make no apologies for that. It gives me fire, it makes me who I am.

The second part, about how this principle has changed throughout history I just find interesting! That’s so true! I don’t even know what to say – it speaks so much for itself. That is history in its finest form, that’s the anthropology and the evolution of humankind. Done and done.

I personally don’t fear contentment; I guess I kind of feel sorry for it #NoFilter. Again, I do think it works, if you find what you really wanted along. If all you really wanted was a happy relationship with a secure home and 2 vacations a year to places you’ve always wanted to see. And, that happens, then I support that. If you look around and tell yourself you can’t do this or that’s not realistic and just accept that defeat, I don’t.

Please share your thoughts and opinions!